Chapter 379: A Bamboo Basket
"You little fool?" She raised her voice again. "Why does the expansion of your shop have to happen right now? Can't it wait until Chengcai gets married?"
"Mom, be reasonable," I said. "I decided to expand first; he decided to get married after."
"What did you say?!"
I frowned and held the phone away from my ear, trying to give my ears some peace.
I knew exactly what she was going to say next by heart.
She and Dad had raised me with so much hardship, through thick and thin.
Originally, raising just me was easy enough, but they had to work so hard to raise two children, and they had no idea how exhausting it had been all these years.
In her version of events, if she hadn't taken such good care of me, there was no way I could have passed the entrance exam for Southwest University of Political Science and Law, and no way I could have found such a good job.
But I clearly remembered that when I graduated from middle school, I begged and cried to go to high school.
She didn't agree.
She told me to go out and work, to earn tuition for my little brother who was dead last in his class.
I also overheard her and Dad talking about marrying me off when I was seventeen, for a ten-thousand-yuan bride price, so Chengcai could go to school in the city.
If it weren't for the teacher who came to our village to volunteer, who paid my tuition and let me go to high school, I would have already returned to that mountain village by now. At thirty-three, I'd have a kid in their teens, and my main job every day would be taking care of a pig and five chickens.
That teacher told me that if I wanted to change my life, I had to go out and see the world.
She was the guiding light of my life.
"Do you have any idea how much face you've lost me?!" She continued shouting. "You're thirty-five! Thirty-five, do you understand?! How many more years can you even earn money?"
"Mom, I'm thirty-three," I said.
"You're over thirty and still not married! Your dad and I have lost all face!" She took a deep breath. "Is there anyone in the village over thirty who isn't married? They all say there's something wrong with you, you know that?"
"That's why I don't want to stay in the village anymore, Mom." I forced a bitter smile. "I want a different life."
"You don't care, but your brother does!" She brought the topic right back around. "You give us two hundred thousand. Your brother can buy a house in the county town, and then you won't have to pay another cent, got it?"
"I can't do it." I reiterated my stance again. "Chengcai is thirty-two years old and has never held a single job in his life. What qualifies him to get married? Does he have the ability to plan for his own future?"
"You do!" she said. "Aren't you a big-shot boss in Chengdu?"
"Mom, I'm not a boss. I'm a lawyer."
"You mean the one who sues people. You're good at suing. Those bosses must be afraid of you, right?" She kept pushing her ideas on me. "Ask them for money. If they don't give it, you sue them. How about that?"
It was laughable.
"Mom, that's not only illegal, it's also unfair," I said. "When is Chengcai getting married?"
"Next week, June sixth." She grumbled. "That's only a week left. Hurry up!"
"Alright, I'll be sure to bring a red envelope."
"A red envelope?! You son of a—"
I didn't let her finish. I hung up directly.
Even after all these years of struggling, no matter when or where, every time I got a call from home, it sent me into a spiral of collapse.
My family had never, not even once, considered me.
In their eyes, I had only two functions.
Either go back home to get married, earn a bride price, become a baby-making machine, and never see them again. Or stay in Chengdu, earn money, send it home, and become a perpetual cash cow that never stops.
I pulled a pack of Kuanzhai cigarettes out of my backpack and bit down on one, expressionless.
I was really exhausted right now.
Dealing with my family was more tiring than fighting a court case.
I'd just lit the cigarette when the door to the emergency stairwell was pushed open. Instinctively, I tried to hide the cigarette behind my back, since many people are hostile to women smoking, and I wanted to avoid that kind of trouble.
"Sister Zhang?" Xiao Sun poked his head in, looking at me curiously.
Seeing it was Xiao Sun, I put the cigarette back in my mouth. "You scared me. What's up?"
"I saw you on the phone for a long time. I was worried something was wrong. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
Xiao Sun skillfully took the cigarette pack from my hand and pulled one out for himself. "Sister Zhang, I haven't seen you smoke in a while. What happened?"
"Nothing." I shook my head. "Family stuff."
After a pause, I looked at his hand lighting the cigarette and asked, "Didn't you quit?"
"Sister Zhang, I told you before. If you quit, I quit. If you smoke, I smoke." He took a drag and slowly closed his eyes. "If you want to take care of your body, we'll do it together. If you want to wreck it, we'll wreck it together."
I couldn't help but let out a rueful sigh. "What kind of talk is that? You're tying your health to mine. Is that fair?"
"It's fair." Xiao Sun nodded. "Sister Zhang, whatever we do, I just want to do it with you."
Xiao Sun had said things like this before, and it always made me uneasy. My only response every time was to not respond.
Seeing that I didn't speak, Xiao Sun spoke up again, but his tone was a little unnatural this time. "Sister Zhang, I have no work tomorrow. I bought an extra ticket to Richie Jen's concert. I heard you really like him. Want to go see it together?"
I took out my portable ashtray, tapped the ash, and looked up at him. "Xiao Sun, you just happen to have no work tomorrow, you just happened to buy tickets to Richie Jen's concert, you just happened to buy two, and he just happens to be my favorite singer. What exactly are you trying to do?"
"I…" Xiao Sun hesitated, his ears turning red. After a long moment, he said, "Sister Zhang, we've known each other for so many years. I don't want to stay in this boss-subordinate relationship anymore. I want to get to know you better."
Young men these days sure had guts. Even after all the storms I'd weathered in the courtroom, his words still made my heart race.
"But Sister Zhang… you've always kept yourself closed off. I can never seem to get into your heart." Xiao Sun said nervously, "Life is still long. How about… we walk it together?"
I looked at Xiao Sun's clear eyes, lowered my head silently, and stubbed the cigarette out in my ashtray.
For some reason, hearing those words made me feel an unusual sense of loss.
I was like a bamboo basket full of holes, unworthy of holding anyone's tenderness.
"Xiao Sun, you… you're twenty-six this year, right?"
"Yes, Sister Zhang. After my birthday, I'll be twenty-seven."
"I'm seven years older than you." I said expressionlessly. "You're young and promising. You can find a much better partner. You'll have a much better life. If you tie yourself to me, one day you'll find that I'm riddled with scars underneath everything, and everything you see now is just a disguise."
The air grew quiet, with only the muffled sound of wedding music from somewhere in the distance.
"I… I don't care if you're riddled with scars or broken to pieces. I'm willing to use everything I have to mend you." Xiao Sun's gaze gradually grew firm. "Sister Zhang, I like you. I don't care about age, background, or past. I like this strong, hardworking, serious, and persistent version of you. Every word I've said, I've thought about for a long time. Now I'm just waiting for your answer."