Chapter 679: Without Illness
Snow Old City was battered by wind and snow year-round, incredibly remote from the human world, yet it had never been cut off from news. This demon capital was a metropolis on par with the capital and Luoyang; even if all seventeen city gates were sealed shut, there were still countless ways to transmit information to the outside world. However, Snow Old City had now been sealed for three days, yet His Holiness the Pope still did not know what had actually happened within its walls. Clearly, this was not an ordinary city lockdown; something earth-shattering must have occurred inside.
The events at the Heavenly Book Mound had also just passed three days ago.
Chen Changsheng recalled what his master had said to Her Holiness the Empress that night—that he had long been prepared for matters concerning the demons. Could it be that the sealing of Snow Old City was related to this? He shook his head, deciding not to dwell on these questions. Whatever happened in Snow Old City, what did it have to do with him?
The Pope watched his profile, sensing the shift in his emotions, and said, "A useful body should always be used for useful things, whether for the common people of the world or to bring peace to one's own heart."
Chen Changsheng stared at the falling leaves outside the window, speaking somewhat woodenly, "I've already been used many times."
To others, these words might have seemed strange, but the Pope understood what he meant, and a look of pity and guilt crept into his eyes.
"Besides being used, there are always other things—like family, like friends," the Pope said, looking at Chen Changsheng. "Your surname is Chen. You are a member of the imperial clan. Many of your relatives still live here."
"You mean those princes?" Chen Changsheng replied. "They only wish I would die sooner."
This was an accurate judgment. Whether it was the Prince of Xiang, who was destined to wield immense power, or the Prince of Zhongshan, who would soon command a vast portion of the Great Zhou military, the person they feared most right now was Chen Changsheng. Because Chen Changsheng was also of the imperial clan, a student of Shang Xingzhou, a world-renowned figure, and more importantly, the future Pope. Whether it was the struggle for the throne or for power, he was the opponent those Chen princes least wanted to see. As for the word "family affection," it was almost a joke to the Chen imperial clan. Nearly a thousand years had passed, yet no one had forgotten the Hundred Herb Garden Incident. The current princes were all descendants of Emperor Taizong; how could they be happy about the descendants of the exiled clan regaining so much power?
The Pope understood Chen Changsheng's meaning and said, "Even so, you still have relatives."
The relatives he referred to were naturally those exiled clansmen now living on the Holy Light Continent—like that monk who had once appeared by the stream near the old temple in Xining Town. Those imperial clan members who had been hunted by Emperor Taizong to a different continent were, by blood, certainly Chen Changsheng's relatives. It was even possible that his parents were still living there now.
Chen Changsheng understood that His Holiness the Pope was not trying to get him to do something by mentioning those people on the Holy Light Continent, but rather to convince him that he was connected to this world. This connection might allow him to feel some warmth toward the world, to no longer be so cold-hearted, or to find some reason to like this world. This moved him somewhat. But what moved him was the fact that the Pope was saying these things, not the content itself. Because he felt no goodwill toward those "relatives" living on the Holy Light Continent.
"Those aren't my relatives either. They are all bad people," Chen Changsheng said. "When I was still a baby—no, perhaps even when I was just a fetus—they did so many things to me."
What things? To make Tianhai Empress believe he was Crown Prince Zhaoming, the people of the Holy Light Continent had forcibly destroyed his innate solar wheel while he was still a baby or even a fetus, severed his meridians, and infused him with countless streams of Holy Light energy that appeared full of life force but were in fact incredibly dangerous and terrifying. When setting up this scheme, neither his master nor those relatives on the Holy Light Continent had ever imagined that Tianhai Empress would ultimately reverse his fate against all odds. This meant that, in the endgame of this plot, he would either be devoured by Tianhai Empress or be ignored and left to die. This also meant that, from the moment of his birth, that baby was destined never to live past twenty. This was a very cruel thing. Therefore, those people were bad people.
...
"My medical skills are excellent. I live a very disciplined life. I never eat anything heavy in oil or salt, let alone preserved foods. I live healthily, cultivate diligently. I came from Xining to the capital, ostensibly to break off an engagement, but in truth, it was to treat my illness, to save myself, to defy heaven, to change my fate. Everything I have done, the very purpose of my existence, has been to survive."
Watching the few leaves bobbing on the surface of the lake, Chen Changsheng's expression grew somber.
"Now my illness is cured. I can continue to live, past twenty, past two hundred, even a thousand years old. But I suddenly realize that I am merely a substitute, a tool, a piece of fruit. My existence had no meaning at all. So where is the meaning in continuing to exist?"
The Pope started to speak, then stopped.
"Uncle Master, I know you want to comfort me, but I have nothing left now." He paused for a moment, then continued, "I don't even have my illness anymore."
When he said this, his voice didn't tremble at all; it was very calm.
But even the Pope, who had weathered countless storms and seen all the ways of the world, felt a pang of sorrow.
He had nothing left. He didn't even have his illness anymore.
How much pain and grief was hidden within that calm statement?
The Pope sighed.
He had come to the National Academy today to help Chen Changsheng pull himself together, to at least find meaning in life again. But Chen Changsheng told him that his very existence was meaningless. He wanted to convince Chen Changsheng that the world still held some kindness for him, but in truth, from before his birth, the world had shown Chen Changsheng nothing but malice. He could have continued to persuade Chen Changsheng, mentioning Yu Ren, Xu Yourong, or Tang Thirty-Six. But looking at this calm yet sorrowful seventeen-year-old youth, he couldn't bear to say anything more.
"Actually, I thought I might not find you in the National Academy, or that I would see you packing your bags. But since you're still here, it means you're still hesitating. Since this world shows you no kindness, you must be even kinder to yourself. Make the best choice for yourself. Take your time, don't rush. I still have a few days left to live."
After saying this, the Pope left the National Academy.
Chen Changsheng didn't turn around. He still stared at the autumn scenery outside the window, so he didn't notice how desolate the Pope's retreating figure was.
His Holiness the Pope left the National Academy. Mao Qiuyu and other leaders of the State Church followed suit. Dozens of Red Cardinals and Church cavalry also withdrew one after another. The cavalry and experts of the Great Zhou court did not reappear, because the Divine Palace had already demonstrated its power and made its stance clear. Chen Changsheng was still the next Pope.
The National Academy returned to calm. The academy gates reopened, welcoming the thick autumn atmosphere. Some teachers and students had taken advantage of the chaos to leave; their names were recorded in a small notebook by Su Moyu. More teachers and students stayed, beginning to clean up, tidy the stone debris scattered around, and prepare for the next day's lessons.
Chen Changsheng went to the adjacent Hundred Herb Garden.
The woods here were denser than the groves in the National Academy or the Boiling Time Forest, and their colors were beautifully painted by the autumn air. In the autumn woods stood a stone table. There was no teapot on the table, nor any teacups. He sat beside the table, just staring blankly into space.