Chapter 12: A Friend Who Leaves You Speechless
Chen Changsheng said to order whatever he liked. In Tang Thirty-Six’s view, the phrase “whatever he liked” meant roughly the same thing—whether it was ordering food casually or being at ease with each other. Feeling some sympathy for the other, he didn’t pay much attention to the prices when ordering. Taking the menu, he casually picked a few of the inn’s signature dishes. The first two were sparrow stew and steamed double-headed fish… As he was ordering, he noticed Chen Changsheng’s brow furrow slightly. Thinking the other might be short on silver and feeling a bit reluctant, he said to the waiter, “Forget the double-headed fish, swap it for bass. And… change the sparrow stew to water shield soup.”
Sure enough, Chen Changsheng’s brow relaxed.
Tang Thirty-Six smiled to himself, thinking how observant and considerate he was. He casually added, “And a bowl of plum-blossom-topped deer breast meatballs.”
Chen Changsheng frowned.
Tang Thirty-Six glanced at him and said, “Change that… to a bowl of Mei Cai Kou Rou.”
Chen Changsheng was still frowning.
Tang Thirty-Six grew a bit annoyed, thinking, a bowl of fatty pork—I wouldn’t even bother eating that at home—and you’re still reluctant to spend the money?
He said to the waiter, “Just bring a plate of cold mixed houttuynia cordata! And a plate of red-oil pig ear!”
Chen Changsheng still wore that same expression, full of disapproval.
Tang Thirty-Six was genuinely irritated now. He said, “Since this is your first time treating someone to a meal and you don’t understand social graces, I won’t say anything to you.”
Chen Changsheng was slightly taken aback and asked, “What did I do wrong?”
Tang Thirty-Six snapped, “Even if you don’t have enough money on you, you can’t show that kind of expression in front of a guest. It’s truly off-putting! If you’re a man, your head can be cut off, your blood can spill, but your face must not be lost! Even if you have to pawn off that fur cloak you’re wearing later, what does it matter?”
He thought this reasoning was perfectly sound and felt good about lecturing his companion. But Chen Changsheng found it a bit odd and asked, “Isn’t that just ‘slapping your face to look fat’?”
Tang Thirty-Six was slightly annoyed and said, “What kind of talk is that?”
“It’s a saying from Xining.” Chen Changsheng gave a serious explanation.
Tang Thirty-Six was stunned, thinking, was that what I was asking? He was about to blow up when he heard Chen Changsheng’s next calm and indifferent words.
“…And besides, I don’t have a fur cloak.”
The room suddenly grew quiet.
Tang Thirty-Six forgot about blowing up. He found this matter truly troubling. He had only ever seen those down-and-out elders and senior brothers from his family and sect constantly pawning fur cloaks and dragon sinews for wine money, but no one had ever told him what to do if someone was so poor they didn’t even have those things, and how to save face while treating someone to a meal. As for himself…
First, he had never lacked money. Second… he had never treated anyone to a meal.
He looked at Chen Changsheng seriously and said, “Then let me treat you to this meal.”
Chen Changsheng was slightly surprised and asked, “Why?”
Tang Thirty-Six looked at him with a gentle expression and said, “You don’t have a fur cloak, so you definitely don’t have anything else valuable. How could I let you treat me?”
Chen Changsheng looked innocent and said, “But… I have money.”
…
…
Another awkward silence.
Tang Thirty-Six’s expression turned sour. He asked, “Then why did you make that face when I was ordering earlier?”
Chen Changsheng thought back to the earlier scene, understood something, and felt a bit embarrassed. He explained, “Because… the sparrow and polygonatum soup you ordered, while marketed as warming and nourishing, is actually very drying. It’s excellent in autumn and winter, but in spring, drinking it can easily stir up false heat, which isn’t good for the body.”
Tang Thirty-Six had never expected that this guy was thinking about that kind of thing. He asked, “So the other dishes were bad too? They’re all signature dishes.”
Chen Changsheng explained in a calm tone, “Double-headed fish is a deep-sea fish that feeds on smaller fish, shrimp, and sea snakes. It accumulates a lot of toxins in its body. If it were boiled, that would be fine—you could discard the broth and still eat it—but steaming it is not good for the body. Plus, there are only two of us, and too much meat really isn’t good for the body. Mei Cai Kou Rou uses pork belly, which is too high in fat—better not to eat it.”
He thought for a moment and added, “The pig ear in the red-oil dish is actually good stuff, but the red oil itself is not. And that plate of houttuynia cordata—eating too much of it will dry out the intestines and disturb the mind, which is also bad for the body.”
“Stop!” Tang Thirty-Six couldn’t take it anymore.
Chen Changsheng had rattled off a long list of things that were bad for the body. Those words buzzed around his ears like flies, making him very uncomfortable. No one would be happy hearing that after happily ordering a meal. Of course, not every dish can be healthy, but who pays attention to such details when eating? And to be as meticulous as he was—it was almost obsessive! If Chen Changsheng were an old man focused on health preservation, that would be one thing, but he was clearly just a fourteen-year-old boy…
“So what if it’s bad for the body? Will eating it kill you?” Tang Thirty-Six said coldly.
Chen Changsheng looked at him seriously and said, “It won’t kill you on the spot, but it will definitely make you die early.”
Tang Thirty-Six was speechless. Curious, he asked, “Then what do you usually eat?”
Chen Changsheng replied, “Two ounces of meat, two catties of vegetables, sweet potatoes and grains as needed, one stream white fish every two days, and no soup.”
Tang Thirty-Six asked, “How long have you been eating like this?”
Chen Changsheng said, “As long as I can remember.”
This time it was Tang Thirty-Six’s turn to frown.
He thought these dishes sounded terrible just hearing about them. To eat like this for fourteen years—what kind of miserable life was that?
He really felt sorry for this guy.
…
…
During the meal, both of them were very quiet. Tang Thirty-Six found the dishes too ordinary, while Chen Changsheng thought they were too unhealthy. In short, each had their own dissatisfaction. Of course, this issue was impossible to reconcile—like tofu pudding versus zongzi, dietary taste versus health pursuit—it was always the most fiercely contested area of human worldviews.
Chen Changsheng’s first-ever banquet thus ended hastily. Two cups of fragrant tea were served, and they chatted casually about the Heavenly Academy exam. Tang Thirty-Six also asked about his experiences at the Star Picking and the other two academies, expressing his confusion and doubt that the Great Zhou military had also been influenced by the Divine General’s Mansion. Then they had nothing more to say.
Newly made friends usually share childhood stories and growth experiences in their first few conversations, seeking common interests. But their childhood stories were so monotonous and dull to an outrageous degree that there was no way to start from that angle. To avoid the awkwardness of staring at each other, Tang Thirty-Six stood up, walked around the room with his teacup, from the hall to the balcony and back, thinking that this guy could rent such a large suite in a prime location like the Mausoleum of Books, clearly not short on money. His earlier misunderstanding was truly laughable.
As he walked past the curio shelf in the hall, Tang Thirty-Six’s gaze unconsciously fell on it and couldn’t look away. There was a sword there.
The sword was very small, not much longer than an ordinary dagger, and very thin, looking quite delicate. The scabbard was plain leather, and the hilt was simple. From the inside out, it exuded an air of ordinariness, with nothing eye-catching about it, no dust or bloodstains. In short, this sword was utterly ordinary, yet it made him want to get close to it.
Tang Thirty-Six reached out to grasp the hilt.
But Chen Changsheng’s hand blocked him. He grabbed the hilt first.
Tang Thirty-Six looked at him.
Chen Changsheng looked back and said, “This is mine.”
Tang Thirty-Six held his teacup, from which hot mist rose. In the mist, his handsome, cold, and proud face seemed even colder. “So I can’t touch it?”
Chen Changsheng noticed he was displeased and felt a bit uneasy, but he still insisted, “You should ask me first. If I agree, then you can take it.”
Tang Thirty-Six withdrew his right hand, flicked his sleeve, and returned to his seat, placing his teacup on the table in front of him.
Chen Changsheng felt awkward, thinking he might have done something wrong. Well, he didn’t actually think he had done anything wrong, but since this was the first friend he had made, seeing the other unhappy made him flustered. He walked to the table and handed over the short sword he was holding.
Tang Thirty-Six looked up at him but ignored him.
Chen Changsheng held the sword closer.
Tang Thirty-Six refused to take it and said, “You don’t act with any magnanimity.”
Chen Changsheng was helpless, thinking to himself, who’s the one not being magnanimous? Who’s sulking like a child? He had no choice but to walk back to the curio shelf, put the sword down, and turned to ask, “Did you come to see me for something?”
“You’re the only person I know in the capital. I heard about your situation, so naturally I came to check on you. No need to thank me—I’m just that warm and generous a person.” Tang Thirty-Six said with a cold expression. “Of course, this advice is based on the fact that I somewhat appreciate you. You should know that I appreciate very few people my age. You should feel honored.”
Chen Changsheng was stunned for a moment, then said, “Then… thank you?”
“Is a simple thank you enough?”
“Didn’t I just treat you to a meal?”
Tang Thirty-Six stood up, looked at him, and said, “I’ve decided to take you on as my little brother.”
Chen Changsheng asked, “What does ‘little brother’ mean?”
Tang Thirty-Six explained seriously, “It means from now on, you follow me.”
Chen Changsheng explained seriously, “I can’t do that. I have a lot of things to do, so I can’t give you my time.”
Tang Thirty-Six was a very proud youth. He had come to visit the inn out of pity for Chen Changsheng’s unrecognized talent. Since the other didn’t accept, he wouldn’t say more, but he was still puzzled: “What things? Keep studying? Why do you have to get into some academy? What’s the reason for your persistence?”
Chen Changsheng asked, “And you? What’s your purpose in coming to the capital?”
“I’m going to take the Grand Examination. I’m going to get first place.”
Tang Thirty-Six said with a proud expression. Suddenly, he remembered the young phoenix on Southern Saintess Peak. If she came back early…
“I’m going to take second place in the Grand Examination.”
He corrected himself, then suddenly thought of Qiu Shan Jun. If that person participated in this Grand Examination…
“Fine, my goal is third place in the Grand Examination.”
“But in any case, I want to carve my name on the stone tablet in front of the Mausoleum of Books…”
Tang Thirty-Six confirmed finally.
“Truly lofty ambitions. I admire that.”
Chen Changsheng looked at him with admiration, then suddenly thought of something and asked, “Then wouldn’t you have to change your name to Tang Three?”
Tang Thirty-Six was speechless. He turned the question around: “And you? What’s your goal in coming to the capital?”
Chen Changsheng said honestly, “I’m also going to take the Grand Examination.”
Tang Thirty-Six hadn’t expected that, but he wasn’t too surprised either.
Chen Changsheng said, “I haven’t thought about getting second or third place.”
Tang Thirty-Six advised, “People should indeed know their limits, but they can’t lose confidence. Don’t forget, as long as you make the top three in the Grand Examination, you can enter the Mausoleum of Books…”
Suddenly, his voice cut off because Chen Changsheng spoke again.
“I’m going to get first place.”
Chen Changsheng looked at him and said, “I can’t take second or third. I can only take first.”
A silence fell.
Tang Thirty-Six suddenly felt a strong urge to turn and leave.
He realized that today, he often found himself at a loss for words.
Because the things this guy did and said often left people speechless, wanting only to spit blood.