Chapter 125: Spoiler Commentary
Over on the other side, they were still debugging the machines, while Chen Mo and Zhang Yang continued their awkward small talk.
Zhang Yang: "To be honest, this is the first time I've met Teacher Chen Mo today. I've heard a lot about you before this."
Chen Mo: "Ah, I don't deserve that, I really don't. Actually, I've also heard a lot about Teacher Zhang Yang, especially in the domestic commentary scene. If Teacher Zhang Yang says he's number one, no one dares to claim number two!"
Zhang Yang was taken aback: "Huh?"
The bullet comments were all amused. They said it backwards! This guy definitely did it on purpose!
Chen Mo continued: "Personally, I have great respect for Teacher Zhang Yang's commentary. If I were to rate it, I could give it a ten!"
Zhang Yang quickly waved his hand: "Ah, you flatter me. I don't deserve such praise, I really don't."
Chen Mo went on: "As for the remaining nine hundred and ninety-nine points, I..."
Zhang Yang looked confused: "Huh? So the full score is a thousand!"
The bullet comments burst out laughing. This Chen Mo was really something. How did a match commentary turn into a comedy routine!
Chen Mo turned to look at Zhang Yang: "See, this just shows your math was taught by the gym teacher."
Zhang Yang was stunned: "What do you mean?"
Chen Mo said: "Ten plus nine hundred and ninety-nine, is that a thousand? That's one thousand and nine!"
Zhang Yang was speechless: "Oh, so you set a trap for me too!"
The bullet comments exploded. Viewers in front of their screens were laughing uncontrollably. This Chen Mo, how could he be so sly and mischievous!
Zhang Yang was also surprised. Wow, Chen Mo had become the lead comedian, and he was the straight man! This didn't seem like a newcomer who had never commentated on a match before. With this kind of eloquence, even becoming a crosstalk actor would be a waste of talent!
Chen Mo continued: "To be honest, for this competition, I originally planned to participate as a player."
Zhang Yang asked curiously: "Really? Then why didn't you become a player and ended up as a commentator instead?"
Chen Mo explained: "Well, when I brought it up with the organizers, they said, 'Alright, play a ranked match, and we'll see your level.'"
Zhang Yang: "So you showed them what you could do."
Chen Mo: "After I finished, the organizers were very excited and said to me, 'You're too strong, you're way better than Goph! Even that so-called S-God from before is no match for you. You're at least nineteen million times stronger than him!'"
Zhang Yang: "Wow, I have no idea how they came up with that number, and it's so specific too."
Chen Mo: "But then the organizers said there were two things holding me back."
Zhang Yang: "What two things?"
Chen Mo: "My left hand and my right hand."
Zhang Yang nearly spat blood: "So they meant you're a hand disability, not cut out for this game! This game has extremely high demands on hand speed!"
The audience was also in stitches. In just ten minutes, Chen Mo had dropped four or five punchlines without stopping. How did he come up with all this!
"Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter. This Chen Mo is a comedy star!"
"I've never seen a game designer like this. His eloquence is amazing!"
"Wow, how did such a goofball design a game like 'Warcraft'?"
"Considering Chen Mo's jokes today, I'll hold off on sending him hate mail."
"He's truly a crosstalk actor held back by a career in game design!"
As they chatted, the equipment was finally debugged.
Zhang Yang said: "Alright, the players' equipment has been debugged. Please bear with us for a moment, viewers. The match will start soon."
But the bullet comments wouldn't let it go.
"Don't start the match yet! I want to see Chen Mo do crosstalk!"
"Please, five more minutes of crosstalk!"
"Damn, this is the first time I've wanted them to debug the machines longer!"
Soon, the match began.
Undead vs. Orc. Both sides had high scores, since this was an invitational tournament, and the organizers had invited top-ranked players.
Zhang Yang introduced the players, the map, and the starting positions.
Zhang Yang also played "Warcraft" himself, so he was familiar with the basic mechanics; otherwise, he couldn't commentate. His main job was to control the flow—guiding the commentary topics and explaining what was happening on the field—while the professional analysis was left to Chen Mo.
After introducing the start, Zhang Yang said: "Teacher Chen Mo, what do you think of the players' opening choices?"
Chen Mo said: "In the early game, both sides are playing quite standard. The Death Knight harassed the Blade Master's leveling, slowing him down a bit from reaching level 2. But now the Blade Master can go farm the 331 creep camp, and that experience will be just enough for him to level up."
As soon as Chen Mo finished speaking, the Blade Master headed straight for that 331 camp.
"The Death Knight grabbed the 533 camp up top. In high-level ranked matches these days, the early game is all about contesting camps. It doesn't matter if the item drop is good or bad—if it's bad, I'll just sell it. The key is not letting you have it."
"The Blade Master has two circlets now, which isn't very impressive. If he gets a Gloves or a Claws, that would be perfect. His equipment for the first ten minutes would be pretty solid. Of course, you can't expect the Blade Master to get an Agility +6 every game, right? Otherwise, the game would become unplayable and turn into 'Orc Domination.'"
"Both sides are fighting fiercely now. That Frost Armor-coated Crypt Fiend can be pulled back. Yes, pull it back now, circle around the trees, and hit it with a Death Coil to heal. Yes, that should be a win for the Undead."
As the match progressed, Chen Mo kept commentating, and Zhang Yang was surprised to find that he couldn't get a word in!
Chen Mo's speaking pace was neither fast nor slow, his rhythm was perfectly controlled, and his analysis of the situation was very clear. His grasp of both sides' tactics was especially impressive—it was almost as if whatever Chen Mo said, the two players would do!
And he even threw in a punchline or a bit of humor from time to time.
The bullet comments were also stunned. Chen Mo's commentary completely exceeded their expectations.
"Holy crap, spoiler commentary? The commentator says things that happen two minutes before they actually happen?"
"I feel like these two players are following Chen Mo's commands. Whatever Chen Mo says, they do?"
"His thinking is very clear, and the commentary is well-organized. He can even see the pro players' intentions!"
"This is amazing. I never knew there was so much psychological gameplay behind such a simple choice!"
For the first time, the audience realized that the commentary was more entertaining than the match itself!
The match was intense. In the final battle, the Orc's Blade Master was killed, and he typed "gg," giving the Undead the victory.
Chen Mo summarized: "This match was pretty even in the early and mid-game. The main issue was that the Orc didn't effectively wear down the Undead's army. He tried to expand with Cement Towers in the mid-game but failed to get them up, and both towers were destroyed. That was probably a key turning point. Of course, the Orc player also had some mechanical mistakes..."
"Also, I think this Orc player was a bit too passive. The Blade Master is the strongest hero in the early game, but he didn't kill enough Undead units in the early phase..."
As Chen Mo summarized the match, some discordant voices appeared in the bullet comments.
"The earlier part was okay, but what's he talking about now? Mechanical mistakes from the Orc? This is an RTS game, and these are top-ten ranked players. It's fine to talk about tactical mistakes, but who gave you the guts to criticize their mechanics?"
"Yeah, I want to ask Chen Mo what his own rank is. How dare he talk about other people's mechanical issues?"
"I also think it's inappropriate. In an RTS game, mechanics can never be perfect. How can you take care of every single unit out of dozens? I don't think that counts as a mistake."
"Chen Mo has a god's-eye view, so of course he sees everything clearly. I want to see how he'd perform if he played himself! He's just talking out of his ass!"
"And he says the Orc was passive? These are top-tier players. Does he think they're playing against noobs?"
Obviously, many of these were fans of the Orc player. They were already unhappy about the loss, and hearing Chen Mo criticize their favorite player made them even more furious.