Chapter 888: Walking Out of Sadness
Actually, I understood Jiang Ruoxue's actions.
If one day she were to truly find my corpse lying in the street or discover that I'd lost my memory... that would probably be the one thing she could never accept.
I'm afraid that for as long as she has memories, she would be saddened by this matter.
This triggered her own defense mechanism. For her, short-term pain was better than long-term suffering. Letting go was the best choice.
Yes... I understood her...
Analyzed from the perspective of "human nature"... I understood... Seeking benefit and avoiding harm is only human...
Although I could use the knowledge I'd learned to analyze the situation before me, my heart felt as if it were being twisted.
For a very long time afterward, I drifted through my days in a daze, yet I couldn't cry.
I didn't know if I was too sad, or if I wasn't sad enough at all.
In any case, I couldn't shed a tear... I only felt that a part of my soul had been extracted.
This empty, powerless feeling left me unable to cry or laugh. I was just living numbly.
Even back when I was isolated by others in the real world, I had never felt this way.
During those days, White Sheep's game unfolded exactly as I had predicted. It quickly attracted a massive number of "participants," vaulting to become the most active game in the region. On the seventh day, someone even won the lottery jackpot of sixty-six "Dao."
Using one "Dao" to exchange for sixty-six "Dao"... There was no game like this anywhere in the entire "Land of Finality."
The "Bliss Money House" spread by word of mouth. Its unique gameplay and the highly attractive "Money House" mechanism drew numerous powerful individuals, each carrying a large amount of "Dao," who came seeking it out by reputation.
Whenever I went to find White Sheep in the morning, I would see many people hired by him for two "Dao," actively distributing "lottery tickets" on his behalf.
If I happened to go on the tenth day, I would see a large number of "participants" holding paper and pens, analyzing the current round's situation against the "overall assessment" displayed on the screen.
Like highly experienced veterans, they pointed at the screen and offered their judgments. They could even analyze the personalities of the "Zodiacs" and their recent moods. Every word they spoke revealed how shrewd they thought they were, how unique their insight was, and how thoroughly they understood the entire market.
But truly clever people never participated in this game.
White Sheep, as the behind-the-scenes manipulator, almost never showed his face. Every time I came looking for him, he was in the bank's office, reading a book.
I had never seen a "Zodiac" like him. After his promotion to "Earth Grade," he seemed even more leisurely than when he was "Human Grade."
He sat here every day, collecting an enormous amount of "Dao," along with the lives that would casually dissipate every now and then. This attitude left me feeling bewildered.
Even though I still talked to him every day, and we discussed all kinds of things, I became increasingly distracted.
It was only then that I finally understood... the sadness in my heart was too vast.
Jiang Ruoxue's departure had dealt me a severe emotional wound, but from the very beginning, I had been unwilling to show my scars.
So I told no one.
To prevent others from noticing, I didn't even dare to cry or laugh.
But I trembled when I walked. My voice was hoarse when I spoke. I was silent when I spaced out.
I was truly, deeply sad.
At this moment, the only thing occupying my mind was how to "walk out of my sadness."
It was funny, really... I happened to know of an organization that could help people walk out of their sadness.
Although that organization looked very strange, and its host was quite unconventional, I genuinely wanted to join that "support group."
Now I could also understand the psychology of those who "desperately seek any remedy when critically ill."
But when I arrived at the entrance to Ground Snake's venue, I no longer wanted to go in.
Because the first thing I saw was the rope Ground Snake had hanging by the door.
At that moment, Jiang Ruoxue's voice suddenly echoed in my memory: "If you feel sad, you can just die!"
Yes... maybe if I died, things would get better.
I imitated Ground Snake's example, slowly looping the rope around my neck. Then I relaxed my feet, letting my entire body be suspended by the rope.
An immense crushing pressure instantly seized my breath. I felt my entire head engorging with blood.
My eyeballs and tongue uncontrollably bulged outward. A few seconds later, everything in front of me went dark.
All five of my senses were gradually drifting away from me... I didn't even know if I was already dead.
Just as I was about to lose consciousness, I suddenly felt a pair of ice-cold hands lift me up. Then those hands untied the rope and laid me flat on the ground.
"Damn girl... What in the world are you doing?!"
A familiar voice rang in my ears, making it hard for me to tell if I was dreaming.
"Why the hell are you hanging yourself right at my door?! That's so unlucky!" The person added, "I still have to receive clients today!"
About a minute later, my vision returned, and I gradually made out the person before me.
It was a cold and panicked snake face.
Yes. Only by opening my eyes to see a monster did I know I wasn't dreaming.
"Ground Snake...?"
"Aren't you that damn girl who passed by the 'support group' three times without entering?" White Snake asked. "Why do you always scare me to death every time you show up?"
I don't know why, but after White Snake had set me down, the suppressed sadness in my heart finally reached its peak.
I lay on the ground, using my elbow to cover my face, and then the tears wouldn't stop falling.
"Oh dear..." Ground Snake was startled by my actions. "Sister, you... can we talk this out nicely...? What's wrong with you?"
I wanted to say something too, but the grief kept spreading uncontrollably, leaving me unable to utter a single word.
White Snake stood before me, at a complete loss.
He reached out and patted me, trying to soothe my emotions, but for some reason, the more he patted me, the sadder I became.
I remembered that I wasn't like this...
If someone tried to comfort me, I would immediately pretend to be fine, just to put their mind at ease.
But today, I was being particularly fussy. White Snake kept trying to comfort me, and I kept crying.
"Ah... damn... how could I have forgotten about this..." White Snake seemed to remember something and simply stopped trying to comfort me. "Damn girl, I'll move back a bit. You go ahead and cry for a while."
Once he distanced himself from me, I indeed quieted down quickly.
Maybe a good cry really did help. It had been a long time since I'd cried like this.
I stood up from the ground, somewhat disheveled, and patted my soiled white dress. When I looked up, White Snake was not far away, watching me with concern on his face.
I quickly wiped my tears and then forced a smile: "Sorry you had to see that..."
"Feeling a bit better, damn girl...?" Ground Snake asked. "What kind of huge trouble happened to you? Who commits suicide in a place where death can happen at any time?"
"I..." I shook my head after hearing this, then let out a deep sigh. "I... I broke off my friendship with my best friend..."
"Broke off a friendship?" White Snake raised his browless forehead. "Breaking off a friendship in the 'Land of Finality.' How rare."
Yes... White Snake probably wouldn't understand.
In this land of "Finality," where no one could be fully trusted, I had a precious friend—one I couldn't even meet in the real world.
But now, even that was gone.