Chapter 878: Dispelling Lingering Thoughts
“Dispel the ‘lingering thoughts’ in your heart?”
Bai Yang frowned slightly upon hearing this, as if he couldn’t grasp the meaning of those words.
“Yes, child,” Aunt Tong nodded. “As long as you can cast aside the lingering thoughts in your heart, you will surely receive the Mother Goddess’s favor.”
Bai Yang’s gaze grew even more complicated, as if there were many things he couldn’t figure out. It wasn’t just him—even I was baffled by Aunt Tong’s words.
After a long pause, Bai Yang finally asked, “Most people would say ‘dispel distracting thoughts.’ Why do you say ‘dispel lingering thoughts’ instead?”
“Child, ‘distracting thoughts’ are ‘lingering thoughts,’” Aunt Tong explained patiently.
“If ‘distracting thoughts’ are the same as ‘lingering thoughts,’ then why avoid the common phrase people use and choose this rare expression?”
“Child… when you’ve been exposed to many religions, you’ll realize that the term ‘distracting thoughts’ isn’t precise. Its intended meaning isn’t as thorough as ‘lingering thoughts.’”
“Then, in your view, what do ‘distracting thoughts’ refer to? And what do ‘lingering thoughts’ refer to?” Bai Yang pressed.
Jiang Ruoxue and I were gradually unable to interject. The exchange between Bai Yang and Aunt Tong was veering off into a strange direction.
No… this didn’t seem like a conversation at all.
It felt more like some kind of “discourse on the Way.”
“Child, you have a thirst for knowledge—that’s a very precious quality,” Aunt Tong said kindly to Bai Yang. “From the literal meaning, ‘distracting thoughts’ refer to ‘impure thoughts’ or ‘bad thoughts.’ But ‘lingering thoughts’ don’t convey that meaning; they refer to ‘remaining thoughts’ or ‘superfluous thoughts.’”
“I don’t understand,” Bai Yang said. “If it’s ‘dispelling lingering thoughts’ as you say, that means ‘removing all thoughts from the heart.’ How could such a person possibly succeed?”
“Isn’t ‘having no desires and no demands’ the greatest success?” Aunt Tong said. “Everyone striving in this world ultimately aims for ‘no desires and no demands.’ Do you believe that?”
“What about those who seek wealth?” Bai Yang asked. “Is the ultimate goal of all money-makers also to have no desires and no demands?”
“They earn money to buy what they need. When they’ve earned enough money and bought enough things, they too will have no desires and no demands,” Aunt Tong replied.
“What about those who seek pleasure?” Bai Yang asked again.
“Those who seek pleasure do so to enjoy more happiness. When they’ve obtained all the happiness in the world, they will no longer desire pleasure and will thus enter a state of no desires and no demands.”
“Then what about those who just want to survive?”
“It’s all the same, child,” Aunt Tong said with a smile. “If one truly has ‘no desires and no demands,’ living and dying are merely different states. A person who has dispelled distracting thoughts feels no fear of death, nor grief at leaving the world.”
“Ridiculous,” Bai Yang said. “If a person abandons every thought in their heart, they are no different from a corpse. They want nothing and do nothing—how can they still be called human?”
“Child…” Aunt Tong’s eyes now carried a hint of compassion. “The reason you think this way is precisely because you cannot let go of all the ‘lingering thoughts’ in your heart. You have never experienced the state of ‘no desires and no demands,’ so naturally you do not understand.”
“I truly don’t understand,” Bai Yang said. “If everyone in this place is as you say—void of any desire—then to me, they haven’t transcended; they’ve submitted to fate. The very existence of the ‘End Land’ is built on mistakes and lies. The more the enemy oppresses us, the more we must resist.”
“So… is that why you cannot let go of the ‘lingering thoughts’ in your heart?” Aunt Tong asked again.
“Yes,” Bai Yang nodded. “I’ve already cast aside all ‘distracting thoughts.’ It’s only the ‘lingering thoughts’ that I cannot. I need to keep one purest thought to propel me forward.”
“Sigh…” Aunt Tong shook her head with a smile, her expression like that of someone looking at a wayward child.
“If you’re here to help me, I’ll find a way to repay you someday,” Bai Yang said. “But if you’re here to convince me to give up for some agenda, I suggest you leave now.”
“Everyone in this world makes their own choices. How could I persuade you to give up?” Aunt Tong shook her head with a smile. “I’m just worried that your ‘lingering thoughts’ will eventually turn into ‘obsessions,’ driving you completely mad in this hellish place. Even so, you wouldn’t give up?”
“No,” Bai Yang nodded. “Either I go mad, or I perish—I’m afraid those are my only two paths.”
Aunt Tong shook her head, reached out once more, and placed her hand on Bai Yang’s chest. “Child, if you can’t make the ‘lingering thoughts’ disappear, then find a way to ‘settle’ them.”
“Settle…?”
“A settled and powerful lingering thought will be enough to see you through to the end,” Aunt Tong said. “The Mother Goddess will protect you.”
“So what exactly is this ‘Mother Goddess’?” Bai Yang asked. “Is she some kind of deity you worship?”
“Some kind of…?” Aunt Tong smiled kindly, then said, “Child, the ‘Mother Goddess’ is everything. She is the beginning of all things and the destined end. She exists in this land, and also in the world outside.”
“Sounds omnipotent. So where is she now?” Bai Yang said. “I’ve been so dismissive of her—will she come out and punish me?”
“Why would she?” Aunt Tong said. “We are all children of the ‘Mother Goddess.’ Even if she were displeased with your words, she wouldn’t truly be angry with you. She loves you—I can clearly feel the Mother Goddess’s compassion.”
Bai Yang seemed somewhat intrigued by Aunt Tong’s words, but then his gaze quickly fell upon the two necklaces hanging around her neck, and his eyes turned cold again.
“Does your ‘Mother Goddess’ know that you have betrayed her?” Bai Yang asked.
“Betray…?” Aunt Tong was amused by Bai Yang’s words. She touched the Buddhist beads and crucifix hanging from her neck. “You mean these two necklaces? How is that betrayal?”
“A loyal minister does not serve two masters,” Bai Yang said. “If you want to preach your ‘Mother Goddess’ here, you shouldn’t worship other religions.”
“But we are all children of the ‘Mother Goddess,’” Aunt Tong said again. “I told you—the ‘Mother Goddess’ is everything in this world. She allowed these religions to exist, which proves she permits me to follow them. Only by worshipping all the powerful religions in this world can I vaguely perceive the will of the ‘Mother Goddess’… Child… I am not betraying her; I am trying every means to draw closer to her.”
“Fine,” Bai Yang nodded with a resigned expression. “Your logic is self-consistent. I have nothing more to say. But if your ‘Mother Goddess’ can’t help me, then to me, she’s no different from a corpse lying by the roadside.”