Chapter 869: Suggestion
I had never heard of anyone needing a mirror to search for something, but if White Goat said it, he must have his reasons.
Although it wasn't easy to find, I still managed to get a small powder compact the next day. The compact looked quite avant-garde, even a brand I had never heard of before. It had been left behind in a small building and was somehow still usable.
That meant it hadn't appeared when the city emerged—it had come along with a "participant." This place recorded the state of that girl when she carried cosmetics, indicating she would always have makeup whenever she was born. I was almost a little envious of her.
When I found White Goat with the powder compact that had a small mirror, he was sitting at the door reading a book. It seemed what he had said was true—he had actually obtained the book directly from Earth Snake.
Seeing me approach, he closed the book and looked up at me. "Found a mirror?"
I nodded and pulled out the small powder compact, handing it to him.
"So small…?" White Goat took it skeptically, opening it to take a look. "Is this makeup?"
"Yeah. It's hard to find large mirrors—most are shattered. But this one should do for now."
White Goat held up the mirror and studied it carefully, then murmured to himself, "Too bad… I can only see my eyes."
"What?" I asked. "Is the mirror too small?"
"No. It's because I'm wearing a mask," White Goat replied. "What a pity… Looks like I need to find a way to advance as soon as possible."
I was thoroughly confused.
"Brother Goat… what exactly are you trying to do?" I voiced the question weighing on my mind. "Isn't your ultimate goal to forget that you're human? What does that have to do with your 'motivation to leave'? And what does the mirror have to do with any of it?"
White Goat thought for a moment before answering. "The reason is complicated. I believe that if I truly want to 'forget I am human,' I must first make myself a solid, flesh-and-blood person with ties and attachments. I need to build the strongest psychological defense using these things, and then, in a single moment, shatter it all with the most terrifying method. If I haven't gone mentally broken by then, I will have transcended humanity."
Alright, I had to admit this method was so abstract I couldn't even begin to imagine it.
"And the mirror?" I pressed.
"The mirror…" White Goat looked down at the small mirror in his hand. "I… have something to say to myself. That's why I need a mirror."
"Something to say to yourself…" I blinked, a bad feeling creeping over me. "So you want to advance to 'Earth-level' as soon as possible because… you want to…"
"I want to see my own expression." White Goat turned his head, his withered goat-face mask facing me. "In my current state, I can only see my own eyes. The success rate is too low. I need to capture every micro-expression."
"But what's the purpose of capturing micro-expressions?" I pressed.
"I need to understand myself," White Goat replied. "Do you know what 'hypnosis' is?"
"I've… heard of it," I answered. "But hypnosis is at most a form of 'suggestion'… Its practical effectiveness is far less powerful than how it's portrayed in movies."
"True. But it can still exert a latent influence on a person. Right now, though, I've sealed myself off." White Goat tugged at his mask. "The most crucial prerequisite for hypnosis is complete trust in the hypnotist. But no one is going to trust a hypnotist wearing a mask."
I felt like I was finally beginning to understand what White Goat was trying to do… He was going to hypnotize himself?
"So I need to advance to 'Earth-level' as soon as possible," White Goat continued. "That way, I'll have expressions. I can observe every micro-expression I make and give myself powerful psychological suggestions."
Just as I was about to nod at these words, a sudden chill ran down my spine.
Something… didn't seem right.
After becoming "Earth-level"… then observe your own micro-expressions?
"W-wait a second… Brother Goat." My voice came out a little hoarse. "After you become 'Earth-level'… you won't have human expressions anymore. Your face will become a cold, lifeless goat."
"Even a goat face has micro-expressions," White Goat said. "When the time comes, I'll stare at that goat face and reinforce my psychological suggestions."
I felt this was way too terrifying… Whatever psychological suggestion White Goat was trying to give himself… but if he had to face a goat's face and constantly observe its expressions…
Then the strongest suggestion he would receive would be "I am a goat."
"Wait…"
I froze again.
Wasn't that… exactly…?
That was precisely the goal White Goat had set from the beginning… Could it be that the psychological suggestion he wanted to give himself using the mirror was "I am not human"?
I racked my brain trying to predict what White Goat was going to do, but I still felt like something was missing.
From then on, almost every time I came here, White Goat was talking to himself with that mirror.
I was even afraid he would go mad before achieving his psychological suggestion.
According to him, his life was now filled with three things: talking to himself, playing the game, and reading books.
He had already achieved the first step in shedding his humanity—giving up sleep.
Now he stayed up all night reading, feeling like he had twice as much usable time as others.
And since we were both in a state of being dead souls, when he began to believe he wasn't human, the prolonged sleeplessness truly didn't bring fatigue—though he wasn't sure how long he could sustain it.
As for "eating," that was a more difficult problem. White Goat said that every time he returned to the "train," almost all the "zodiacs" were eating, and the entire train would be filled with an atmosphere of "hunger." It was indeed hard to remain completely unaffected.
In that environment, even though White Goat had already suggested to himself countless times that he was "not human," he still felt hungry. So he still chose to continue eating—eating the air.
White Goat also told me that the seemingly lavish delicacies on the "train" didn't actually fill anyone up. They were almost all illusions created by "Echoes."
Some food was transformed from sand and dirt, while other food was an empty illusion. Every day, a large number of "train attendants" would deliver these foods to the "zodiacs" rooms.
In essence, the biggest use of this food was to make you perform the act of "eating," thereby convincing yourself that you were "full."
It was almost like raising livestock. It seemed that from the very beginning, "Heavenly Dragon" had treated all the "zodiacs" on the train as real animals, and from the start, he had understood the influence of the "subconscious" on these people.