Chapter 815: Deranged Snake
"But aren't you going to introduce us?" Qi Xia asked in a probing tone. "Maybe we don't need a letter of introduction. Perhaps we're just naturally suited for your 'Mutual Aid Society.'"
"I have no such intention." Earth Snake shook his head. "Don't waste your efforts, all of you. I said I'm going to hang myself, and that's exactly what I'm doing. No one is stopping me today."
"And what's the reason for your hanging?" Qi Xia asked.
"Because I'm too sorrowful." Earth Snake replied, staring back with tear-filled eyes. "Do you have any idea how sad I feel hearing the suffering of those people just now? All I want to do right now is hang myself. Only hanging can soothe my wounded heart."
"But you..." Chen Junnan started to say something else, but his nose unexpectedly stung.
A wave of inexplicable grief began to invade his mind, plunging him into an awful mood in an instant.
"Damn it..." he muttered, shaking his head. "What the hell is this..."
"Jun Nan Zai... what's wrong with you?" Qiao Jiajin beside him seemed to notice something off.
"No... what's going on... Little Master suddenly feels a bit mentally exhausted." Chen Junnan scratched his head. "How the hell did I... fail at everything I do?"
"Huh?"
The three people beside him all turned to look at him.
"I couldn't even hold onto a dead snake..." Chen Junnan sighed. "All these years, it feels like I've accomplished nothing... and now it's the same..."
Qi Xia narrowed his eyes at that moment, realizing Chen Junnan must have been targeted.
But by what kind of technique? An "Echo"?
He scanned the surroundings but didn't find anyone else here, yet Chen Junnan had suddenly put on such a miserable expression.
And not just Chen Junnan—everyone who had just left seemed to have tears in their eyes. Could the problem lie with Earth Snake?
"No, Little Master can't accept this. I've got to try talking him out of it again." Chen Junnan was about to step forward, but Qi Xia pulled him back.
Qi Xia cautiously moved his eyes, examining the old, thick hempen rope in Earth Snake's hand, then the stool beneath his feet, then the sturdy branch above his head, and finally recalling the words Earth Snake had just spoken.
He nodded to the dead snake and said, "I understand. Go ahead and hang yourself."
"Alright, thank you. I am truly too sorrowful."
With that, Earth Snake decisively kicked away the stool beneath him.
In an instant, the noose tightened with a straining sound, and Earth Snake was left swaying on the rope, swinging back and forth.
But he was clearly different from an ordinary person hanging themselves—he didn't thrash his legs or twist his body.
"Oh my god..." Chen Junnan stared at Earth Snake slowly drifting in the air. For a moment, even his grief was forgotten. With an anxious look, he said, "Lao Qi, shouldn't we stop him? By the time we come back next time, he'll be dried snake skin."
"There's no need for that. He won't die." Qi Xia said.
"Huh?"
The noose around Earth Snake's neck grew tighter and tighter, slowly rotating his body in midair. At that point, everyone could see his face clearly.
He was obviously struggling with the rope—his tongue was sticking out, and tears welled in his eyes.
"No way..." Chen Junnan turned around in confusion. "Are you sure he won't die? He looks like he's about to kick the bucket..."
"Don't worry." Qi Xia said. "That rope of his looks like it's been used for a long time. The stool was deliberately placed right outside the door, within easy reach. There are marks on the branch above his head from all the friction. Besides, he said we could chat, but only after he hung himself—meaning this is something he does often."
Qiao Jiajin was taken aback. "He often hangs himself? Is Brother Snake really trying to air-dry himself?"
Just as he finished speaking, Earth Snake, who was slowly spinning, had tears streaming down his face. He forced out a voice with difficulty: "It's so sad... why does it have to hurt so much... having to hear such heartbreaking stories every day... My 'Mutual Aid Society' is just too sorrowful..."
His voice gradually shifted from a choked sob to a wail, and then he hung on the rope, crying uncontrollably.
Only then did the four people before him realize just how abnormal Earth Snake was.
Qi Xia sighed, then looked up at Earth Snake and said, "Stop wasting time. If you've had your fun, come on down."
As Qi Xia had predicted, after spinning a few more times, Earth Snake's expression slowly began to change. His protruding tongue gradually retracted into his mouth.
His expression was no longer one of pain, and the sorrow on his face slowly morphed into a manic grin.
"How miserable!!" Earth Snake laughed loudly. "Why aren't snakes' necks a weak point?! Why can't I die even when I hang myself?! Damn it! What am I supposed to do?! Hahahahaha! Why is it that the things that make ordinary people sad are so ridiculous to me?!"
Qin Dingdong, standing behind the three, couldn't help but take a step back. She hadn't expected that the polite and courteous Earth Snake from just minutes ago would suddenly act like a madman.
Earth Snake, hanging by his neck, glared at the four people before him and shouted, "Mortals will always be mortals! Losing a wife and child makes them sad, being bullied makes them sad, owing millions in debt makes them sad—any hardship in life brings them sorrow... How laughable! How utterly laughable their sorrows are! Do they even understand what true sorrow means?!"
"This snake isn't right..." Chen Junnan said. "Although a lot of Earth-level 'Zodiacs' are a bit crazy, this one is especially crazy."
"Ah!!" Earth Snake screamed. "It feels so good!! This feeling of hanging without dying... it's addictive!! As long as I have this feeling, why the hell would I care about sorrow?!"
Earth Snake kept himself hanging for a while longer, until his emotions had somewhat stabilized, and then slowly reached both hands behind his neck to untie the knot.
At that moment, he landed firmly on the ground, as if unharmed. After all, an ordinary person needs five to seven minutes to die from hanging, let alone an Earth-level "Zodiac" who had only been hanging for a few minutes.
The manic expression on Earth Snake's face gradually faded, replaced by the calm indifference from before.
He gave the four of them a cold glance, then turned around to slowly take down the rope from the tree, bent down to pick up the fallen stool, and faced them again with a flat expression. "Sorry to have wasted everyone's precious time. I've let off some steam. If you have any questions, follow me."
Without looking back, he walked toward his bookstore. Qi Xia thought for a few seconds and then followed.
"What kind of person is this..." Chen Junnan felt a lingering fear. "He uses hanging himself to vent his emotions? He was hanging there for at least five minutes..."
Qiao Jiajin nodded in agreement. "He's like a completely different person when he's hanging and when he's not..."
Hearing this, Qin Dingdong turned to Chen Junnan. "And you're one to talk... What the hell happened to you just now? You looked like you were about to cry."
"I don't know." Chen Junnan shook his head. "At that moment... Little Master felt like the sky was falling."