Chapter 789: Two Kinds of Life
“My memories are fake?”
Chen Junnan and Qiao Jiajin blurted out in unison.
“Yeah.” Qin Dingdong nodded. “The reason I went to find Wei Yang in the first place was partly because I was really pissed off at you, you bastard… and partly because… I genuinely wanted to understand what’s going on in a ‘liar’s’ head.”
“I don’t get it,” Chen Junnan said. “Ever since I met you, you’ve always called yourself a liar. Don’t you know what a liar’s mentality is?”
“That’s exactly what feels strange to me…” Qin Dingdong replied. “Deep down, I think of myself as a liar, because I’ve always had this vague memory that in the real world I worked at some shabby matchmaking agency, and I specialized in being set up with older men from out of town to scam them for money through fake marriages.”
“Huh?” Chen Junnan was surprised. “Marriage scams…? I’ve never heard you mention that before.”
“Because I never did,” Qin Dingdong answered. “It’s not exactly a glorious memory, and I’m not about to go around telling people about it.”
“Then why do you say your memories are fake?” Chen Junnan pressed. “Did you find out you weren’t scamming old men, but young guys instead?”
“No. If it were that simple, it’d actually be a relief. But I spent a long time recalling my entire life…” Qin Dingdong said quietly. “And I realized that no matter how hard I try, there’s no memory in my life of me becoming a liar.”
“I’m having trouble following…” Chen Junnan said. “So the memory of you becoming a liar was removed?”
“No… that’s not it either…” Qin Dingdong said. “It’s really hard to describe. I don’t even know where to start… Chen Junnan, A-Jin, you know what? My life feels whole—nothing is missing. I can even remember the first part-time job I had after high school graduation, and my first internship in college… then later when I quit and opened my own bubble tea shop, and finally the earthquake that hit while I was in the shop… all of these experiences exist completely in my memory.”
“That… that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Chen Junnan said.
“Yes. If this were actually my life…” Qin Dingdong said with a serious expression, “then why have I always called myself a liar?”
Her simple question left Chen Junnan and Qiao Jiajin momentarily speechless.
Qiao Jiajin thought for a moment and then spoke up. “Miss Qin, maybe… maybe that’s just how you are? You’re pretty easygoing, right? Saying you’re a ‘liar’ might just be to scare people off.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was hoping too.” Qin Dingdong nodded. “Making up an identity for myself here so that the bad guys back off—sounds reasonable enough. But then why is my memory of being a con artist so vivid? I mean… why can I clearly remember that I was responsible for seducing older men in marriage scams? If I just made up an identity, why would I need to make it that specific?”
Chen Junnan slowly scratched his head. He knew Qin Dingdong was right.
Usually, a “liar” is just a “liar.” If this identity were fabricated, there’d be no need to fabricate it down to the detail of “marriage scams.” She could have just claimed to be a fraudster, which sounds way more intimidating than “marriage scammer.”
“Hang on…” Chen Junnan suddenly thought of something else, and his confusion only grew. “Dong-jie… what crime did you commit?”
“Crime?”
“If your life went exactly the way you described… you were just a bubble tea shop owner—why are you in the Land of Endings? Did you break the law? Did you put paraquat in your bubble tea?”
Qin Dingdong squinted after hearing this and said, “That’s exactly the problem… Chen Junnan. I didn’t commit any crime. If I were a ‘liar,’ I’d be expected to end up here. But all my memories are spotless—that’s what baffles me the most.”
“So you suspect your memories are fake,” Chen Junnan said. “You suspect you’re actually a liar?”
“Yes.” Qin Dingdong nodded. “I suspect that my hazy memory of the ‘marriage scam’ is my real life. After all, you know me—I’m not some genius con artist. But when it comes to swindling old men out of bride prices, I think I have a pretty high success rate.”
“You sound pretty proud of that…” Chen Junnan shook his head helplessly. “So that means… you’re basically ‘innocent’?”
“Yes, but I don’t believe it,” Qin Dingdong said bluntly. “Do you think there’s such a thing as a flawless person in this world?”
“I… I don’t know…” Chen Junnan shook his head. “You’ve never even done anything wrong in your life?”
“Right.” Qin Dingdong nodded. “Based on my current memories, my life is too perfect. Sure, I’m not rich, but it’s been smooth sailing all the way. Is a life without any obstacles even a life? If every step goes exactly as planned, what’s the difference between that and a dream?”
She paused, then added, “No… most of the time, even dreams don’t go the way we want them to, let alone a life that’s constantly shifting and changing.”
Chen Junnan had no idea what was going on.
The idea that “memories are fake” sounded way too absurd. “Memory loss” or “split personality” he could understand. But an entire life being fake? What could cause something like that?
“Even if it’s an ‘Echo,’ it’s too ridiculous…” Chen Junnan muttered. “This ‘Echo’ didn’t work on the ‘Land of Endings’—it worked on a person?”
“How should I put it…” Qin Dingdong said. “If you think this was caused by an ‘Echo,’ the bigger problem isn’t that it acted on a person, but that it acted on the ‘past,’ on the ‘outside,’ somewhere we can’t see or touch. It may seem fake, but it really happened.”
Chen Junnan sighed after hearing this and asked, “Dong-jie… we can’t jump to conclusions yet. I think there’s another possibility.”
“What possibility?”
“How long has it been since you last lost your memory?” Chen Junnan asked. “Could it just be that you’re too tired?”
“Me…?” Qin Dingdong thought for a moment and said, “At least seven or eight years. Ever since I met you bastard, I remember everything. The first thing I learned from Wei Yang was how to stay rational.”
“What the hell?” Chen Junnan was stunned. “You learned to ‘stay rational’ from Wei Yang?”
“Yeah.” Qin Dingdong nodded. “What’s wrong?”
“You learned to stay rational from his ‘Farm Choir’?” Chen Junnan’s face was full of exasperation. “Then let Little Master tell you—you’ve probably already gone crazy and are just in a state of memory confusion now.”
“Don’t talk shit.” Qin Dingdong kicked Chen Junnan. “You think I’m crazy? Don’t you know me well enough?”