Chapter 746: The Definition of Fear
“How would I know?” Qi Xia retorted.
“This is your own ‘Echo’ and your own actions, yet you’re pretending not to know?” Chu Tianqiu asked.
Qi Xia shook his head helplessly upon hearing this. “Chu Tianqiu, it’s not that I’m pretending. Even the ‘Sky Serpent’ couldn’t read my own thoughts.”
“Oh…?”
“He’s far more lucid than I am,” Qi Xia said.
Chu Tianqiu furrowed his brows slightly. “So when I wrote those two slips of paper, was I also thrown off by your train of thought?”
“You’d have to ask yourself that,” Qi Xia replied. “I’m not you. I have no idea what you’re thinking. Maybe I wasn’t hiding anything at all, and you’re just crazy.”
“I… crazy?” Chu Tianqiu nodded. “That’s true. I didn’t go crazy *after* killing Wen Qiaoyun. I was already crazy long before I killed her.”
After speaking, he looked at Qi Xia again and asked, “So when did *you* go crazy?”
“I’m not crazy,” Qi Xia answered. “My mind has never been clearer.”
“I see.” Chu Tianqiu let out a hollow laugh. “A true madman never thinks *he’s* mad. I guess I still fall short of you.”
“That’s not how I see it,” Qi Xia shook his head. “You have a natural advantage over me. As long as you’re in your ‘Echo,’ you can become a logical madman. But I can’t. I couldn’t have reached my current state without completely demolishing my own psychological defenses and then rebuilding them with the most terrifying materials.”
“Completely demolish your own psychological defenses…?” Chu Tianqiu was slightly taken aback. “And then rebuild them with the most terrifying materials…?”
“Exactly.”
“Is that something a normal person can do?”
“Are we… still normal people?” Qi Xia asked.
“We…” Chu Tianqiu gave a bitter smile. “Yeah… maybe we aren’t even ‘people’ anymore.”
“Yes. No ‘person’ can leave this place,” Qi Xia said.
“So how exactly did you demolish your own ‘psychological defenses’?”
“Have you… ever felt fear?” Qi Xia asked instead.
“‘Fear’?” Chu Tianqiu found the word interesting. He extended his slender, bloodstained fingers, pointing at the dark red sky above. “Qi Xia, do you know why the sky is dark red?”
Qi Xia looked up. “Because it's stained by the rotten flesh of everyone who has turned to dust over the past few decades.”
Chu Tianqiu then pointed at the corpses scattered across the training ground. “And do you know why those people are lying there?”
“Because someone needs them dead, so they die.”
“Precisely,” Chu Tianqiu said. “This place has neither ‘common sense’ nor ‘law.’ Everyone can kill for their own whims. We live here in order to die, yet the purpose of our death is to live. Those who want to protect you might actually want you dead, while those who want to kill you might be trying to let you live…”
“That’s right.”
“Walking on this land where even the streets are sticky and filthy, and you ask me if I’ve ever felt ‘fear’?” Chu Tianqiu grinned. “Qi Xia, every single day I’ve been here, my back has been ice-cold, my scalp has been tingling. I am truly terrified.”
“Oh?”
“But does it matter?” Chu Tianqiu shook his head. “Many people place their hopes on me. I can only pretend everything is fine, pretend to be stronger than anyone else, and tell everyone that hope lies ahead, while wandering through this hellish city. Yet you ask me if I’ve ever felt ‘fear’?”
“But that’s far from enough,” Qi Xia said. “Having a cold back for a few decades, a numb scalp for a few decades—how can *that* be considered ‘fear’?”
Chu Tianqiu let out a light snort, turned his head, and looked into Qi Xia’s eyes. “Then tell me… what *is* ‘fear’?”
Qi Xia’s expression was blank. “The fear I’m talking about is related to the people we love.”
“Ha.” Chu Tianqiu scoffed. “People we love? Was your loved one taken away? Or was she killed? Is that supposed to be terrifying to you? Qi Xia, *I* killed Wen Qiaoyun with my own hands.”
Qi Xia took a deep breath. “What if Wen Qiaoyun was uncontrollably copied into countless copies, one of her eyeballs ‘gigantified’ and hung in the sky as the sun, while the rest of her was disassembled into flesh and bone to rebuild an entire city? Her flesh paving the ground, her bones forming the walls, her blood flowing into the rivers here, rivers so toxic even fish can’t breathe in them. And you walked upon her every day, living your life. With every step, you crushed her shattered flesh, causing her immense pain. Every single day, you smelled the metallic scent of rust. This city beats with a pulse all day long, like a giant living creature, but you don’t know how to save her, and she doesn’t know how to save you. And the one remaining, functioning Wen Qiaoyun, to keep you from going insane… pretends nothing is wrong. Every day, she takes maggots and the flesh from her own body to cook meals for you… How does *that* sound?”
After hearing Qi Xia’s words, Chu Tianqiu fell into a long silence.
If what *he* had described was ‘fear,’ then the scene Qi Xia had just depicted could no longer be described by the word ‘fear’ at all.
There simply wasn't an accurate word in the dictionary to describe that feeling.
If he were standing in a city built from Wen Qiaoyun’s flesh and blood, what would he feel?
Horror? Dread?
No. That feeling was utterly indescribable.
“Qi Xia, do you still say you’re not crazy?” Chu Tianqiu asked.
“I might have already passed the ‘crazy’ stage,” Qi Xia replied expressionlessly. “I feel like I’ve reached a state I’ve never set foot in before. To handle the thoughts in this state, ‘crazy’ is no longer sufficient.”
“Is this what you mean by… demolishing all your psychological defenses and rebuilding them with ‘the most terrifying materials’? And those materials are the flesh and blood of Yu Nian’an?”
Qi Xia nodded. “Yes.”
“But even a ‘Reverberator’ couldn’t do that,” Chu Tianqiu said, frowning deeply. “How exactly did you manage it?”
“It really is a long story. I couldn’t have accomplished something like a ‘miracle’ on my own. I needed not only a ‘god’ capable of demolishing an entire city, but also an ‘Dream Entrant’ capable of rebuilding one.”
“Those two people you mentioned…” Chu Tianqiu was momentarily stunned. “No, aren’t they the same person? ‘He’ could do all of it alone… You not only manipulated the ‘Azure Dragon,’ but even outsmarted the ‘Heavenly Dragon’?”
Qi Xia slowly closed his eyes. “Chu Tianqiu, our ‘battlefield’ has multiple fronts. I can’t control the others. But there is one that is under my control.”
“The battlefield under your control…?”
“That has nothing to do with you. It’s my own affair,” Qi Xia said.