Chapter 473: Madness
"I..." Zhang Chenze was startled by Chu Tianqiu's expression, but still replied without changing his expression, "I will do my utmost."
Chu Tianqiu moved away from the window, seeming to have let down his guard. He sat down once again in front of Zhang Chenze and said quietly, "Lawyer Zhang, do you know... all of us trying to survive here—what does it really take to keep from going insane?"
"Going insane...?"
"Yes." Chu Tianqiu nodded. "We keep being reborn in this godforsaken place, round after round... day after day, year after year. What does it take not to hallucinate the 'Seven Black Swords'? How strong must we be to shake off 'Yu Nian'an'? What do we have to do to avoid eating human flesh, and how can we be sure we're still human?"
Zhang Chenze felt that treating this matter like a "lawsuit" was indeed a bit presumptuous.
Chu Tianqiu's words carried a hint of philosophy, but they were also steeped in madness. The questions he fired off left Zhang Chenze completely at a loss for how to answer.
"Then what do you think we should do?" Zhang Chenze countered.
"The answer is the 'Lock.'" Chu Tianqiu raised a finger and tapped his own brow. "This accursed place puts a 'Lock' on every single person, making us forget those painful memories, and expects us to start from scratch."
"That's true." Zhang Chenze nodded. "Forgetting the memories of previous cycles... that counts as a kind of protection mechanism, doesn't it?"
"Protection mechanism...?" Chu Tianqiu bared his teeth in a very strange smile. "What a ridiculous 'protection mechanism'? It only protects the weak, but it drives the strong slowly mad... How many of the people with any reputation in the 'Land of Endings' are still sane?"
"You do have a point." Zhang Chenze nodded again. "The more one gains 'Echoes'... the longer the memories they retain, and the more torturous it becomes."
"So I voluntarily locked myself up." Chu Tianqiu smiled. "There's a person in this land whose 'Echo' can lock away memories... allowing me to start from zero."
Zhang Chenze was slightly stunned. "That person is Qiao Yun...?"
"Unfortunately, no." Chu Tianqiu shook his head. "Qiao Yun is not that 'Lock'; rather, she is a 'Key.'"
"A key...?" Zhang Chenze felt he was about to lose the thread of Chu Tianqiu's thinking. This man was not only extremely intelligent but also showed clear signs of madness; it was hard for a normal person to communicate with him.
"I actively put countless 'Locks' in my mind, Locks that only Qiao Yun can unlock. Do you understand now?" Chu Tianqiu said.
Zhang Chenze finally grasped the gist. "You mean... Qiao Yun's 'Echo' restores people's memories?"
"You could put it that way." Chu Tianqiu nodded. "But her ability has a flaw: she can't restore memories for everyone... only those she touches can..."
Zhang Chenze frowned slowly, still not fully understanding Chu Tianqiu's point.
"I thought Qiao Yun had lost this ability..." Chu Tianqiu's face gradually twisted into a bitter smile. "But before I met Qi Xia... I was suddenly affected by a sudden burst of 'Echo,' which restored a lot of my memories... and that burst of 'Echo' came from Qiao Yun."
That single sentence nearly clogged Zhang Chenze's train of thought several times. She still knew far too little about this place.
"It was only on that day that I finally remembered who Qiao Yun was..." Chu Tianqiu smiled, but tears began to flow. "A large number of memory fragments came flooding into my mind. I wrote them all down on the blackboard as soon as I could... and I also remembered that man named Qi Xia."
Zhang Chenze swallowed slightly and asked tentatively, "Restoring memories... isn't that a good thing?"
"Good thing...?" Chu Tianqiu's smile gradually turned cold and severe. He leaned down close to Zhang Chenze. "If it were a 'good thing,' why would I actively 'lock' myself? Do you know how much despair is in my memories?"
"I..."
"Every single day..." Chu Tianqiu's body began to tremble, as if recalling something extremely terrifying. "My memories float in from all directions every single day—the despair I recall grows with each passing day. And you call that a 'good thing'? Every time I remember what happened in one cycle, I become more convinced that 'we can't escape'... You call that a good thing?"
"But for people like us... the only weapon we have against them is 'memory'..." Zhang Chenze's face also slowly filled with sorrow. "Only by knowing enough, remembering enough... will we one day escape this cursed place..."
"No." Chu Tianqiu shook his head. "That's 'for you,' not for me. For me, the more I remember, the more certain I am that we can't escape."
His words plunged Zhang Chenze into silence again. Soon, he spoke calmly once more:
"As for escaping here... I already have a better method."
"You... what method?" Zhang Chenze asked.
"I want to become a god." Chu Tianqiu said. "I want to become the true master of this place, and at that moment, everyone will be liberated."
"Ah...?" Zhang Chenze was slightly taken aback. She couldn't tell whether the Chu Tianqiu before her was truly insane or had some other plan.
An ordinary person... becoming a "god"?
"Why do you have such an idea...?" Zhang Chenze asked in confusion. "If you've retained many memories, you could clearly become the strongest combatant among the 'participants'..."
"Precisely because I've retained so many memories, I know that approach won't work." Chu Tianqiu reached up to push back a few strands of hair hanging over his forehead, his face full of melancholy. "The strong ones in my memories all failed... Qiao Yun is just one of them."
"But now we have Qi..."
"Qi Xia also failed." Chu Tianqiu said calmly. "Qi Xia and Qiao Yun are too alike. The paths they walked are exactly the same. That's not a bad thing—consider it them making mistakes on my behalf. But now I have to walk a path of my own."
Hearing this, Zhang Chenze several times wanted to speak but the words got stuck in her throat.
She had originally wanted to ask Chu Tianqiu for the method to awaken the natives, but now it seemed hard to bring up.
"So... I really want to know..." Zhang Chenze brought the conversation back. "What exactly is your relationship with Qiao Yun...? The child Qiao Yun gave birth to..."
"Thirty years ago, Qiao Yun was my lover." Chu Tianqiu said blankly. "And that child is mine as well."