Chapter 387: Paradise?
After hearing my words, Xiao Sun was clearly stunned.
"Sister Zhang... what, what are you going to do?" He said, somewhat dazed. "Stop whatever you're thinking right now! You can't destroy your entire life for that scumbag!"
"Yes, I am destroying my own life, but my life didn't just start being destroyed now." I said to Xiao Sun, my face filled with despair. "So you don't need to be involved in this. I'll do it myself."
"What?"
"I'm betting everything I have. Even if I have to pay the price, I won't regret it."
I absolutely could not let him go to prison.
I wanted him dead.
After hearing this, Xiao Sun was silent for a long time, finally forcing out a sentence from his throat: "Sister Zhang, I've said it before. Whatever you do, I want to do it with you. If you live in peace, I'll live in peace too... If you take risks, then I'll—"
"Don't be foolish!" I looked at him, almost hopelessly. "Don't you understand yet? I'm a monster!!"
"How are you a monster?!" Xiao Sun grew anxious too. "You're just someone struggling to get by, Sister Zhang. Don't blame yourself for everything that's happened."
"You don't understand at all... I'm no longer the person I used to be. I don't deserve love in this lifetime. I'm a filthy, dirty woman!!"
Those nightmare-like scenes flashed through my mind, making me completely dizzy.
"What nonsense are you talking about!?" Xiao Sun's eyes widened as he looked at me very seriously. "Sister, that man raped you. The dirty one should be him, shouldn't it?! He should be the one cursed at, condemned by society, punished by the law. Why is it you? You're just a victim! Is a victim guilty?!"
Ha...
Yes, I am a victim.
But in this society, how many people would genuinely accept a woman who has been raped?
How many people would look at a raped woman without prejudice?
Does it even matter whether I'm a victim or not?
This is my original sin as Chai Lai-dee, and it has nothing to do with anyone else.
If this ever gets out, Xiao Sun and I being together would draw countless strange looks. It wouldn't be fair to him.
He's a young, promising, handsome lawyer with a gentle, sunny personality. And yet he ends up with a venomous, gloomy, older woman who's been raped.
Ridiculous. Too ridiculous.
If I were a bystander, I would look down on him too.
He's too good. He's too brilliant.
And what am I?
I'm a fully grown monster with a cold, frozen heart, someone so icy that even sunlight shining on me wouldn't cause a single ripple.
"Sister Zhang, I know this isn't the right time to say this... but I've already decided long ago. I want to walk with you through the rest of your life." Xiao Sun said, tears in his eyes and a bitter smile on his face. "If you make a dangerous decision, I... will go with you."
"Even if my life is only going to be very short, you still want to be with me?" I asked coldly.
"Yes. If you want to kill someone, I'll go with you." He said. "We'll be sentenced together, and then leave this world."
I stared into Xiao Sun's eyes for a long time, then slowly lowered my head. Why...
A feeling of helplessness lingered around me.
I wanted to personally kill that butcher surnamed Ma, but I couldn't drag Xiao Sun into this.
This had nothing to do with him. It wasn't fair to him.
"Xiao Sun, can you just not worry about me?" I asked. "You'll never understand my life, so how can you walk the rest of the way with me?"
"Sister Zhang, we've been together for many years. I know you." Xiao Sun said. "You just want to be treated like an ordinary person. That's not too much to ask. No matter what unfair things you've gone through before, I'll make it up to you double in the days to come. I'll make sure that both of us—that we came to this world without any regrets."
I curled up on the bed and buried my head in my knees.
Why is this?
Some people can unleash all their malice toward me unconditionally, while others can be good to me without any thought for themselves. What's going on with this "scale" in the world...?
Heaven, are you trying to torment me, or are you trying to save me?
Why do you keep building me castles of hope, only to tear them down again and again?
I couldn't figure it out. I only knew that I couldn't drag Xiao Sun down. It wasn't fair to him.
"I... won't go." I shook my head. "I give up. I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Really?!" Xiao Sun looked at me, overjoyed. "Sister Zhang, have you come to your senses?"
"Mm..." I nodded bitterly. "Let's call the police."
...
In the days that followed, I focused on recovering my health. Mengmeng handled all the affairs of the law firm, while Xiao Sun took full charge of the lawsuit against the butcher Ma.
With irrefutable evidence and the severity of the crime, the police quickly took action. They broke into Ma the butcher's house under cover of night and arrested him on the spot.
The photos of me stored on his phone were all handed over to me for disposal. I didn't want to look at them again, so I forced myself to delete them all despite the nausea.
Yes, if I chose to go through legal channels, everything would go so smoothly.
During these days, Xiao Sun ran around taking care of things for me, and it made my heart ache. When I offered to pay him legal fees, he refused outright.
He said he wasn't handling a lawsuit—he was just helping a friend.
He really was a good person. He was the second light in my life.
Besides Teacher Ning Wan'er, no one in this world had ever shown me kindness without expecting something in return.
He understood all my feelings, considered all my thoughts, and treated me as someone unique in this world.
This feeling was just too surreal.
I often wondered if I could really meet someone this good.
Two months later, I went to Xiao Sun's home for the first time as his girlfriend. I formally met his parents and his younger sister.
No, I shouldn't call him Xiao Sun anymore.
He was my boyfriend, Sun Jiaqi.
Jiaqi's parents were exactly as I remembered them. When they found out I was his girlfriend, they were overjoyed and prepared a huge table of food. His sister also adored me as her sister-in-law, clinging to my arm and chatting away with me.
As she held my hand, I felt a little uncomfortable. Even after all this time, I still wasn't used to people touching me.
Even if it was this cheerful, outgoing girl.
"Don't keep holding onto Chenze, okay..." Jiaqi thoughtfully helped me out. "If you hold onto your sister-in-law, how is she supposed to eat?"
"I don't care~" his sister whined. "I finally have a sister-in-law! I want to tell her all the embarrassing stories about my brother when he was little!"
This kind of family atmosphere... It was nothing short of paradise.