Chapter 31: Crazy Healer and National Football Team
"Rubber... rubber, balloon."
Luffy inhaled with all his might, his entire body swelling into a round shape like a balloon. He used his body to press Nami and Chopper beneath him, but due to limited space, he didn't manage to cover Zoro. Zoro didn't need Luffy's protection anyway.
Zoro quickly moved to Luffy's side, grabbing hold of Luffy's body to prevent him from being blasted away.
They all keenly sensed that something in the room was about to explode, but they didn't know exactly what it was.
Nami and Chopper looked bewildered, but being pinned under Luffy, they didn't struggle.
Boom!
A deafening explosion rang out not far away. Nami let out a pained cry and covered her ears, her ears ringing and her mind dazed.
The flames and shockwave of the blast instantly engulfed Luffy and Zoro. Neither of them took a single step back—if they retreated, Nami and Chopper would be dead for sure.
Rumble!
One floor of Iceberg's house was blown apart. Iceberg, with no one to protect him, was instantly obliterated.
Su Xiao, leaping across the rooftops, suddenly received a notification.
[You have killed Iceberg, Mayor of Water Seven.]
[Iceberg is an important official within the derivative world, holding extremely high prestige. You have obtained 8.1% World Source. Total World Source obtained: 10.3%.]
Su Xiao was slightly surprised. He hadn't expected that killing Iceberg unintentionally would yield so much World Source. It seemed that obtaining World Source didn't necessarily require defeating powerful enemies; certain plot characters with special status could also provide it.
However, such characters were generally not easy to kill. If Su Xiao didn't have his CP9 identity, he would likely be wanted and hunted by the World Government.
Although killing Iceberg granted a lot of World Source, after inquiring with Reincarnation Paradise, Su Xiao learned that Iceberg hadn't dropped a treasure chest.
Inside the room, the flames subsided. Luffy's red vest was tattered, blood dripping from his forehead and arms. Miraculously, his straw hat remained intact.
Zoro's condition was worse. He lay sprawled out in a large "X" shape nearby, having helped Luffy absorb most of the blast's force. Otherwise, Luffy would have been in far worse shape.
Nami and Chopper looked up dazedly, seeing Luffy covered in blood.
"Luffy, are you okay?"
Chopper was terrified and quickly ran to Luffy's side.
"Don't worry about me for now. Go check on Zoro."
In the instant of the explosion, Luffy had clearly seen Zoro shielding him.
When Chopper reached Zoro, he was startled. Zoro's burns weren't severe, but a chair leg was embedded in his abdomen.
"Zoro!"
Chopper panicked, having no medicine or even a roll of bandages on him.
"We have to get Zoro back to the ship, but first, we need to treat the wound urgently."
Chopper and Nami ran off, searching the rubble for any usable first-aid items, like clean cloth strips.
Luffy staggered over to Zoro. Seeing the chair leg stuck in Zoro's abdomen, Luffy casually pulled it out.
Squelch! Blood spurted high into the air. Zoro's eyes rolled back in pain.
"You idiot."
Zoro was speechless. Luffy realized he'd made a mistake and promptly shoved the chair leg back in to stop the bleeding.
Squelch! The chair leg was precisely reinserted into the wound. Zoro's eyes rolled back, and he passed out.
Chopper hurried back, having found some bandages from some room.
"How did Zoro faint? He was conscious just a moment ago."
Chopper was puzzled. Given Zoro's physique, he shouldn't have lost consciousness so quickly.
"Oh, about that. I did this."
As he spoke, Luffy grabbed the chair leg.
"Stop!"
Chopper lunged forward and bit down on Luffy's hand.
"Don't pull that out! It'll cause massive blood loss."
"Right, that's why I pulled it out earlier and Zoro bled a lot, so I put it back in."
"Put... put it back in?"
Chopper was stunned, then quickly grew furious.
"How can you treat a wounded person like that? Hurry and carry Zoro back to the ship!"
After Chopper performed emergency treatment on Zoro's wound, Luffy hoisted Zoro onto his back, and he, Nami, and the others quickly ran toward the Going Merry.
If Zoro had been the only one to bear the explosion, he wouldn't have been this battered. But with Nami and Chopper needing protection, he had almost single-handedly absorbed the impact of the alchemy bomb. Surviving at all was a testament to his extraordinary physique.
Luffy and the others soon disappeared into the distance.
A man dressed like a cowboy watched Luffy's retreating figure. The man's face was pale, as if his bodily functions had been impaired.
"It seems you've accelerated the plot progress. See you at Enies Lobby."
This man was the same revolver-wielding man who had clashed with Su Xiao earlier. He was a ruthless individual. After being injured, he had directly found a doctor to stitch up his bladder. Though urinating was excruciating, his combat ability remained undiminished.
The revolver man held over a dozen scarlet cards in his hand. Those contractors who had tried to join the fray had been turned into scarlet cards.
"Divine Emperor's Crazy Healer is also in the One Piece world, and those three idiots from National Football Team are here too. Things are getting more interesting."
The revolver man laughed. Enies Lobby was going to be a chaotic battle.
"Who are you calling idiots?"
"Brothers, let's take him out."
"Forget it. Those Traveling Group guys are all mentally unstable."
Three burly men, all wearing the same style of armor, emerged from the side. After appearing, they first formed a formation. They held hands—one stood upright in the middle, while the other two each held one of the middle man's hands, leaning their bodies to the side.
"Three idiots."
The revolver man shook his head. Though these three were somewhat foolish, their survival abilities were freakishly strong.
"We're the perfect combination."
"Showcasing the essence of manhood."
"National Football Team is here!"
The revolver man's eye twitched. He suddenly felt that fighting these three idiots was beneath him.
"A bunch of morons."
A booming voice rang out. A man in a black priest's robe, carrying a steel war scythe on his back, emerged from the night.
"Crazy Healer, I didn't expect you to be in Water Seven too. I thought you'd gone straight to Enies Lobby."
The revolver man spoke.
"In an open world like the One Piece world, of course you have to kill a few people for fun. But there's one thing I'm curious about—who injured you so badly? I heard your bladder was stabbed through?"
Crazy Healer's tone carried a hint of mockery.
"Heh~, still better than a stupid healer who learned the wrong initial skill."
Hearing the revolver man's words, Crazy Healer's face darkened. He had originally planned to develop as a healer, but he accidentally learned a combat-type initial skill. Although his healing output was also astonishing, he never healed his teammates. In Crazy Healer's view, teammates only needed to shout "666" and "Go, big shot!"
"That was the will of the Holy God."
Crazy Healer took out a black cross and kissed it before his mouth.
"Holy God? Looks more like an evil god to me."
"What did you say?"
"I said, your Divine Emperor is nothing but a cult. No, I shouldn't insult cults—you're a pyramid scheme."
Crazy Healer unstrapped the scythe from his back. Black smoke swirled around him, and a red glow flickered in his pupils.
"I've wanted to kill you for a long time. The time you interrupted my baptism of new believers—we'll settle that today."
Crazy Healer gripped the steel war scythe, and within the black smoke around him, faint holy golden light flickered.
The revolver man sneered.
"Though I'm not a good person, I can't stand by and watch hundreds of young children be sacrificed alive. Every innocent child is blameless. Justice won't extend itself, but I can kill those who disgust me."
The revolver man began flexing his fingers. Crazy Healer immediately became cautious. The two had fought before.
"What do you know? I was going to baptize the hellish aura from them. They were all... forget it, I can't explain it to someone like you. I don't explain my actions anyway."
"You're lying to ghosts, you fake holy man."
"Believe it or not. But right now, I really want to kill you. Though the Holy God says not to kill, killing evildoers should be fine."
The revolver man and Crazy Healer were locked in a standoff. The only ones who dared to oppose the Traveling Group were the Divine Emperor Adventure Group, a gathering of devout believers and fanatics, where kindness and madness coexisted.
The three members of National Football Team sat on a nearby pile of rubble. They had somehow produced popcorn and cola, looking like they were about to watch a ball game.
"Big Brother, who do you think will win?"
"Who cares? After they settle it, we'll finish off the loser."
"Isn't that a bit shady?"
"Nothing shady about it. Neither of them is a good person. All heterosexuals are heretics and cultists—our sworn enemies in the Great FFF Group."
"Big Brother, we're not in the FFF Group. We're National Football Team."
"I just joined. Any objections?"
"Big Brother, we two don't do that kind of thing."
As the three of National Football Team were discussing heatedly, they suddenly noticed two icy stares fixed on them.
"Big Brother, maybe we should run."
"Good idea. Whoever runs slowest gets to perform 'hammer smash on the family jewels' later."
The three of National Football Team bolted, running incredibly fast. Though they looked like strength-type fighters, they sprinted like three unleashed wild dogs.