Chapter 587: Chen Qingdu, Get Lost
Chen Ping'an drank his wine, watching the busy tavern keeper with a slight twinge of guilt. He shook the wine jar; about two bowls' worth remained. The large white bowls at this shop weren't all that big to begin with.
So Chen Ping'an reached out and invited Diezhang to drink with him. After she sat down, Chen Ping'an helped pour her a bowl of wine and said with a smile, "I don't come to the tavern often. Taking this opportunity, I want to talk to you about something. Fan Dache is just a friend of a friend, and what he truly wanted to hear at the table today wasn't really any profound reasoning. He just had too much pent-up frustration and needed an outlet. Chen Sanqiu and the others, precisely because they are Fan Dache's friends, didn't know how to broach the subject. Some wine, when buried for too long and suddenly uncorked, becomes so mellow it can intoxicate a person to death. The next time Fan Dache goes south to fight, his chances of dying will be very high. He probably thinks that by doing so, he'll live forever in her heart. Of course, this is just my speculation—I tend to think of the worst-case scenario. But after taking all that scolding from Fan Dache and him breaking one of our bowls, I'll have to settle that account with Chen Sanqiu later. Diezhang, you're different. You're not just Ning Yao's friend; you're also my friend. So I won't hold back too much in what I'm about to say."
Diezhang said jokingly, "Don't worry, I'm not Fan Dache. I won't go on a drunken rant, and I wouldn't dare break a wine bowl."
Chen Ping'an got straight to the point and asked, "What are your thoughts on sword immortals? Is it one thing to see them draw their swords from afar, and another to have them come here to drink up close? Or is it something else?"
Diezhang thought for a moment. "Respect."
She hesitated, then added, "Actually, it's fear. When I was young, I suffered some hardships at the hands of low-level sword cultivators. It was pretty miserable. Back then, they already seemed like celestial beings in my eyes. It might sound embarrassing, but when I was a child and ran into them on the road, I couldn't help trembling and turning pale. It got better only after I met A Liang. Of course, I want to become a sword immortal, but if I die on the path to becoming one, I won't regret it. Don't worry. Once I reach Nascent Soul and then become a sword immortal, I've already planned out what I want to do at each realm. But at least buying a big mansion can be done many years earlier—I have to thank you for that."
Chen Ping'an raised his wine bowl, and they clinked and drank. Then he smiled and said, "Good. I think there's no big problem. If you admire the strong and can also show compassion for the weak, then you're walking the middle path. It's not just me and Ning Yao; actually, Sanqiu and the others are also worried that you fight too desperately in every battle and don't value your life enough. Fatty Yan once had a misunderstanding with you and doesn't dare say much, and the rest are also afraid to say too much. This is similar to how Chen Sanqiu treats Fan Dache. But honestly, don't talk lightly about life and death. If you can avoid dying, by all means don't die. Forget it—such matters are beyond one's control. I've been there myself, so I'm not in a position to say much. Anyway, next time I leave the city wall, I'll be like Fatty Yan and the others, trying to catch a few more glimpses of the back of your head. Here's to the back of our tavern keeper's head."
Diezhang lifted her wine bowl, gently clinked it, and drank again.
Chen Ping'an smiled and said, "The next question might be a bit annoying. Let me say this first: you have to promise me that after I finish speaking, I'll still be the second boss of the tavern, and we'll still be friends."
Diezhang smiled and replied, "Let's hear it first. Promises don't mean much. When women change their minds, it's even faster than you men drinking."
Chen Ping'an looked a bit helpless and asked, "When you like that Confucian gentleman who carries a sword of Haoran qi, do you like just his personality, or do you also like his status as a Worthy at the time? Do you ever think that one day he might take you away from the Sword Qi Great Wall to Hanging Mountain and the Haoran Heaven?"
Diezhang's face flushed slightly. She lowered her voice and nodded. "Both. I like his character, his bearing, and especially the scholarly aura about him—I really like that. A Worthy of the academy! How impressive! And now he's even a Gentleman—of course I care a lot! Besides, after getting to know A Liang and Ning Yao, I've wanted to go see Haoran Heaven for a long time. If I could go with him, that would be the best!"
But then Diezhang's expression brightened. "If the day ever comes when he likes me, I'll only go to Haoran Heaven after I've become a sword immortal! Otherwise, even if he begs me, I won't leave the Sword Qi Great Wall."
Chen Ping'an clicked his tongue in admiration. "It's not even certain whether he likes you, and you're already thinking that far ahead?"
Diezhang took a large gulp of wine, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and said with a spirited look, "Is it against the law just to think about it?!"
Chen Ping'an hesitated for a moment. "Let me tell you a story. It's not something I heard secondhand, and it's not something I saw with my own eyes. You can just take it as a story from a book. After you hear it, at least you'll be able to avoid one worst-case scenario. As for the rest, it won't be of much use, and it doesn't apply to you and that gentleman."
It was a tale of mountains and rivers—about a lovesick scholar and a ghost bride in a wedding dress.
Those who love deeply often suffer alongside that love. The word "infatuation" is often neighbors with "betrayal."
Of course, Chen Ping'an didn't want Diezhang and that Confucian gentleman to end up that way. He wished for all lovers in the world to be united. But there was a prerequisite: don't be blind and choose the wrong person. This blindness wasn't just about whether the other person was worth liking. In fact, it had more to do with oneself. The most pitiable people were those who, in the end, didn't even know why the one they were infatuated with had liked them in the first place, or why they finally stopped liking them.
It was like when Chen Ping'an first asked Fan Dache just one question—his implication was simply this: Did Yu Qia know that you, Fan Dache, would rather borrow money from friends to buy her a cherished item? Did you, Fan Dache, see clearly what kind of woman she was? Did you accept it fully? If you could manage that and handle the branches and leaves of this matter properly, that would be your skill. If you were completely clueless, muddled from start to finish, Fan Dache obviously wouldn't have been so furious. It was clear that whether he knew from the beginning or realized it later, he understood that Yu Qia knew he was borrowing money from Chen Sanqiu. But Yu Qia chose to accept this kind of sacrifice from him; she chose to keep taking. Did Fan Dache really understand what this meant? No. He probably just vaguely felt that she wasn't quite right, that she wasn't that good, but he never knew how to face it or resolve it.
Fan Dache only knew that after parting, they would inevitably drift further apart. After drinking, he felt like he wanted to rip out his own heart and show it to her—to let her see his true feelings.
Was Fan Dache wrong to love a woman so unreservedly? Of course not. Is it wrong for a man to give his heart and soul to the woman he loves, to do everything he can? But if you dig deeper, how could there be no fault? If you love someone so deeply, shouldn't you know who it is you truly love?
Just like Chen Ping'an, an outsider who had only seen Yu Qia from a distance twice, could immediately see her ambition and how she secretly ranked Fan Dache's friends into different classes. Her ambitious drive wasn't something that could be satisfied just by Fan Dache being from a prominent family and ensuring they both had enough to eat and wear. She hoped that one day, by the name Yu Qia alone, she would be invited to drink at a table full of sword immortals—and she would not be relegated to the least seat. When she sat down, people would have to offer her a toast! She, Yu Qia, would sit up straight and wait for others to toast her.
Chen Ping'an didn't like this kind of woman, but he didn't detest her either. He just understood—could understand and respect the many choices on this path of life.
Did Fan Dache understand? Not at all.
If you miss it today, maybe you'll get lucky and meet the right person later, becoming a destined immortal couple. But if luck doesn't hold, you'll just miss again.
After hearing the end of the story, Diezhang was indignant and asked, "That scholar—he just wanted to become a Gentleman or Worthy of Guanhu Academy, so he could marry that ghost bride in a wedding dress with a grand procession and proper rites?"
Chen Ping'an nodded. "That was always the case. He never changed his heart. That's why he was forced to drown himself in the lake. But the ghost bride always thought he had betrayed her deep love."
Diezhang's eyes actually reddened. "How could the ending be like that? Those fellow scholars at the academy—they were all scholars! How could they be so vicious?"
Chen Ping'an said, "Scholars harm people without ever using a blade. I told you this story because I want you to think more. Think about it—Haoran Heaven is so vast, with so many scholars. Are they all good people worthy of the sages' books? If they were, would the Sword Qi Great Wall be what it is today?"
Diezhang raised her head, a strange expression on her face, and glanced at Chen Ping'an in his jade hairpin and blue robe.
Chen Ping'an smiled. "I try to understand these things, to think and worry and ponder over everything—not to become like them, but quite the opposite: so that I never become like them."
He raised his wine bowl. "If the day ever comes when you and that gentleman truly like each other, and you, Miss Diezhang, are a sword immortal by then, and you want to travel to Haoran Heaven, make sure to call me and Ning Yao. I'll be on guard against those scholars whose learning has gone to waste. Whether it's the so-called friends by his side, fellow students, family elders, or teachers from the academies, if they're reasonable, that's best. I believe most people around him are good—birds of a feather flock together. But there are bound to be some bad apples. The moment those guys turn around, I'll know what kind of sages' principles they're about to spew to disgust us. When it comes to arguments, I am, after all, the last disciple of my teacher, and I've learned a few true skills. What are friends for? They say unpleasant things and pour cold water when needed, but they also do the hard things. That last part was me praising myself. Come on, let's down this bowl!"
Diezhang rarely smiled so brightly. She held her bowl in one hand, about to drink, when her expression suddenly dimmed. She glanced at her own shoulder.
Chen Ping'an said, "If you truly like someone, it doesn't matter. If you don't like them, having two more arms wouldn't help."
Diezhang laughed angrily. "Is having an extra arm for no reason a good thing?"
Chen Ping'an smiled. "True. One of my shortcomings is that I'm not good at reasoning."
Diezhang's mood lifted again. She was about to clink bowls with Chen Ping'an when he suddenly said something that spoiled the moment: "But you and that gentleman haven't even gotten to first base yet. Don't think too far ahead too soon. Otherwise, when you get hurt later, this little tavern will make a fortune off your wine money, and as your second boss and friend, I won't feel right about it."
Diezhang's face darkened.
Chen Ping'an sighed. "Good advice is hard to swallow. It's tough being a friend."
Diezhang suddenly smiled. "You've already said the best and the worst. Thanks."
She picked up the wine jar and found only one bowl's worth left.
Chen Ping'an waved his hand. "I won't drink anymore. Ning Yao is strict about it."
Diezhang didn't stand on ceremony and poured herself a bowl, sipping slowly.
If any customer called for more wine, Diezhang would let them fetch it themselves along with small plates of pickled vegetables. That was the good thing about regular customers—after coming and going, they didn't need to be too polite.
At first, Diezhang had worried about not being attentive enough and did everything herself. But once she saw how Chen Ping'an did it—joking and bantering with customers, even letting them fetch the plates—and no one found it inappropriate, she started to follow suit.
Diezhang watched Chen Ping'an as he looked toward the corner of the street. Every time before, he would stay there longer, acting as a storyteller. But today, the children were no longer gathered around the little stools.
Diezhang knew that inside, Chen Ping'an was probably feeling a bit lost.
Still, she didn't quite understand why he cared so much about such things. Was it because he came from a humble alley in a town called Lizhu Cave Heaven? Even though he was now a celestial being in the eyes of others, could he still feel close to shabby alleys? But every sword cultivator on the Sword Qi Great Wall, including herself, who had grown up in the back alleys of the marketplace, dreamed of moving next door to the wealthy and prestigious families, never to return to those noisy little places.
Having said he wouldn't drink, Chen Ping'an watched Diezhang leisurely sipping her wine and glanced at the jar on the table meant as a gift for Senior Nalan. A fierce internal struggle ensued. Diezhang pretended not to notice. To the customers, taking advantage of the second boss might be hard, but she was the big boss, wasn't she?
Just as Diezhang thought Chen Ping'an would definitely have to pay today, he came up with a way out. He stood up, picked up his wine bowl, and scampered off to another table. After a round of cordial greetings with a table of sword cultivators, he not only scammed a bowl of wine for free but also returned to Diezhang's side with his bowl half full again. Sitting down, he remarked, "So enthusiastic. Can't resist. It's hard not to drink."
Diezhang said helplessly, "Chen Ping'an, are you actually a merchant's son who succeeded in cultivation?"
Chen Ping'an smiled. "People come and go all over the world. Who isn't a trader?"
Diezhang glanced at him as he drank. "Didn't you just say Ning Yao is strict about it?"
Chen Ping'an, having had quite a bit to drink today, chuckled. "Do you think I became a fourth-tier Qi refiner for nothing? A surge of spiritual energy, and the alcohol dissipates—earth-shattering."
Diezhang chuckled too, but inwardly she decided she'd have to tattle to Ning Yao.
Chen Ping'an looked out at the main street. Business at the big and small taverns was really not good. Back then, they'd made such a fuss watching his antics. Now, they'd quieted down, hadn't they? He, the "burden peddler," hadn't even shown his full ten-tenths skill yet.
After her drink, Diezhang went to attend to customers. Her skin wasn't as thick as the second boss's, after all.
Chen Ping'an drank that half bowl of wine especially slowly.
Diezhang eventually brought him a pair of chopsticks and a small plate of pickled vegetables.
Chen Ping'an sat cross-legged, slowly working his way through the wine and the snacks.
Customers came in one after another, so Chen Ping'an gave up the table and squatted by the roadside. Of course, he didn't forget the unopened wine jar.
Diezhang glanced at his bowl, which was nearly empty but never quite finished, and said with a laugh, "If you want me to buy you a drink, can't you just say so?"
She wondered how a guy who could casually offer two immortal artifacts as a betrothal gift could be so stingy.
But when Ning Yao had mentioned this to her privately, her expression had been so charming that even someone like Diezhang felt her heart stir.
Chen Ping'an shook his head. "Big boss, you're really wronging me."
So he went and scammed half a bowl of wine from another table of customers, then raised his white bowl at Diezhang to prove his innocence.
Diezhang busied herself for a while and found him still squatting there.
She walked over and couldn't help asking, "Something on your mind?"
Chen Ping'an shook his head, but then nodded, looking into the distance. "If there is, they're all good things. It always feels like a dream. Especially after seeing Fan Dache, I feel that even more."
He picked up a piece of pickled vegetable with his chopsticks, chewed it, took a sip of wine, and smiled.
Diezhang pulled up a stool and sat beside him.
A customer laughed and said, "Second boss, don't you go having any improper thoughts about our Miss Diezhang. Not that it would matter if you did, just treat me to a jug of wine—the five-snow-flower-coin kind—as hush money!"
Chen Ping'an raised his middle finger high.
Diezhang didn't mind at all. On the Sword Qi Great Wall, no one cared about these things. Even though Diezhang was thoughtful, she wasn't going to be awkward about it. If she were, that would mean she had something to hide.
Besides, when it came to boundaries, Diezhang had never seen a better peer than Chen Ping'an.
Chen Ping'an's feelings for Ning Yao—friend or foe, even a blind person could see them. He had traveled ten thousand miles from Haoran Heaven, and this was his second time. He was waiting for the next great battle to begin, to leave the city wall with her and fight side by side. Some might gossip behind his back, deliberately saying nasty things, but most people knew the truth.
Today, Chen Ping'an had really drunk more than usual.
"With people, matters, and the world, if we're completely oblivious and self-righteous, then all the joys and sorrows, partings and reunions around us will be hard to save from ourselves, hard to resolve, hard to cherish and treat well."
"If you're young, you can learn. If you hit walls and make mistakes again and again, there's no need to be afraid. Correct what's wrong, improve what's good, and make it better. What's there to fear? The fear is being like Fan Dache—getting hit square in the heart by the heavens, stunned, and then starting to blame heaven and others. Do you know why Fan Dache insisted I sit and drink with him and asked me to say more, instead of Chen Sanqiu and the others? Because deep down, Fan Dache knows that he might not come to this tavern to drink again in the future, but he absolutely cannot lose true friends like Chen Sanqiu."
Hearing this, Diezhang asked, "You have a pretty bad impression of Fan Dache, don't you?"
Chen Ping'an shook his head. "You've got it backward. A man like Fan Dache, who can love a woman so deeply, isn't someone to despise. That's exactly why I was willing to play the villain. Otherwise, do you think I'd have nothing better to do and not know what's appropriate to say?"
"Probing the nuances of people's hearts isn't a pleasant thing. It only makes you less lighthearted."
"But if this initial unease can make the people around you live better, more securely, then in the end, you'll become lighthearted yourself. So taking responsibility for yourself first is very important. In that process, respecting every enemy is also a form of responsibility to yourself."
Diezhang thought deeply and agreed, but she said, "Alright, alright, I'll buy you a drink!"
Chen Ping'an laughed silently. He put down his bowl and chopsticks beside the plate, picked up the wine jar, and left.
As he walked, he suddenly turned his head to look toward the Sword Qi Great Wall. But the strange feeling passed in an instant, and he didn't think much of it.
Chen Qingdu frowned deeply. He walked slowly out of the thatched hut and stomped his foot heavily.
The force was even greater than when the old scholar from the Literary Sage Sect had visited the Sword Qi Great Wall before!
On the city wall, a figure in white robes swayed unsteadily.
Standing there was an extremely tall woman, her back to the north, facing south, one hand resting on her sword.
Chen Qingdu looked at her ethereal, unstable form and knew it wouldn't last, so he breathed a sigh of relief.
But this old sword immortal, who had guarded this city wall for ten thousand years, for the first time revealed a look of profound, heavy nostalgia.
He slowly walked to the battlements at her feet and asked curiously, "Why are you here?"
She said calmly, "To see my master."
Chen Qingdu was stunned for a long moment. "What?!"
Then she said, "So, get lost."