Chapter 181: Not Worth It
There are some people who make you feel fond of them at first sight, and no amount of reasoning can explain it.
After Chen Ping'an saw that scholar, the heavy mood he had accumulated while walking half the length of Fulu Street vanished. Clutching the clay pot, he quickened his pace forward.
The young scholar had a warm smile. Instead of staying put, he walked toward Chen Ping'an and spoke first: "You must be Chen Ping'an. I'm Li Xisheng, Baoping's older brother. I've already received Baoping's latest letter from the Cliffside Academy. As her brother, I truly don't know how to repay you. I heard you've been studying diligently. Feel free to come to my house often in the future—I have a modest collection of books. Please take what you like."
Not only that, after taking the clay pot from Chen Ping'an's hands, the young man bowed deeply and said, "For such a great kindness, words of thanks are inadequate."
This made Chen Ping'an somewhat at a loss. He could only point at the clay pot and said nervously, "Young Master Li, there's a mountain-climbing crucian in the pot. I found it on a mountain on my way back. I brought it to give to Baoping."
Li Xisheng looked down at the golden fish swimming leisurely in its confined space. He raised his head, looked at Chen Ping'an, and said with emotion, "I once read descriptions of the miraculous mountain-climbing crucian in the notebooks of ancient sages. A golden one is one in ten thousand. I never thought I'd have the chance to see one with my own eyes in this lifetime. Don't worry, I'll take good care of it. When Baoping comes home in the future, she'll be overjoyed."
Li Xisheng's sincere warmth as a scion of a noble clan left Chen Ping'an completely unsure how to respond. Although he had dragged Cui Dongshan along to stare eagerly at that vast procession of mountain-climbing crucians until his eyes grew sore, and had finally managed to catch this one with great difficulty, no matter what the books said or how marvelously Cui Dongshan described it, for Chen Ping'an, it was hardly something rare or precious.
Whenever Chen Ping'an considered someone close to his heart, he would give them his all.
Chen Ping'an truly wasn't good at lively conversation. He scratched his head, said his goodbyes, and was about to turn and leave.
Li Xisheng quickly called out to Chen Ping'an, "Why don't you come to my home and sit for a while? I'll show you around today, and in the future, you can come by yourself to read. I'll inform the gatekeeper later."
Chen Ping'an shook his head. "Another time."
Li Xisheng smiled helplessly. "Then at least let me put down the mountain-climbing crucian and return the clay pot to you?"
This time Chen Ping'an didn't decline. He nodded. "I'll wait here then."
Li Xisheng smiled. "Wait a moment. I'll be right back."
He turned around and jogged away, holding the clay pot.
At that moment, the young man no longer resembled a sage lecturing from books, but truly seemed like the older brother of that little girl in a red cotton-padded jacket.
Not long after, Li Xisheng ran back carrying the clay pot, with several books tucked under both armpits. Chen Ping'an took the clay pot, bent down to set it on the ground, wiped his hands vigorously, then took the books. He mimicked Li Xisheng's posture, tucking them under his arms. Finally, he picked up the clay pot in a somewhat comical manner and said, "I'll return the books once I'm done reading."
Li Xisheng smiled like a spring breeze and waved his hand. "No need to rush to return them. Take your time. They're much better behaved than Baoping—they won't run off on their own."
Li Xisheng put away his playful expression and said slowly, "Chen Ping'an, don't think my invitation to read at my house is just polite talk. I truly hope you visit often. Baoping is very clever, but she's still young with a child's temperament. Getting her to sit quietly and read at home is harder than climbing to the heavens. So over the years, it's felt like I've been the only one turning pages and reading in this house. When I think about it carefully, it's actually quite dull."
Li Xisheng let out a lot of heartfelt words in one breath.
If any member of the Li family were present, they would have thought the sun was rising from the west.
Because this eldest young master of the Li family, who had little renown, seemed far too rigid and boring compared to his younger brother Li Baozhen. Although he was amiable to everyone, he spoke very little and was dull. Every day, he either buried himself in his study researching or took solitary walks in the mansion. He would watch the sunrise and sunset, the wind and snow, the bright moon—he watched everything. Who knew what he could possibly glean from all that? Fortunately, as the eldest legitimate grandson of the Li family, Li Xisheng didn't have bad relations. Nobody in the household disliked this easygoing future head of the family, but compared to his younger brother Li Baozhen, he simply wasn't as likable.
Chen Ping'an nodded. "I'll come."
Li Xisheng hummed in acknowledgment and waved goodbye to the boy.
Watching Chen Ping'an's receding figure, Li Xisheng murmured, "The green hills I see are so enchanting."
He smiled knowingly. "I imagine the hills would see me the same way?"
Li Xisheng turned and walked toward the main gate. Stepping over the threshold, he said to himself with a full smile, "Another beautiful day."
But when Li Xisheng thought of the news that had come from the capital, he sighed. There was no helping it—every family has its own troubles. As he walked through corridors and passed buildings, the young man laughed to himself again. "Won't ruin the beauty of today."
In the corridor, a young maidservant came face to face with him. She slowed her steps, turned sideways, and performed a curtsey, saying softly, "Eldest Young Master."
Li Xisheng habitually slowed his pace, nodded with a smile, and said nothing as he passed by.
The reasonably attractive maidservant turned to look back. She couldn't help but feel sorry for herself and sighed inwardly: The eldest young master is a good man, but unfortunately he doesn't understand romance.
If it were the second young master, he would certainly stop and chat with her, and even compliment the pretty new hair ornament she had bought.
Of course, she didn't know.
This eldest legitimate grandson of the Li family truly didn't understand this kind of romance, but he was deeply versed in other kinds.
Like a sudden rain striking withered lotus leaves, spring wind blowing wind chimes, a beauty gazing into a bronze mirror, a general wearing a precious sword, heavy snow covering green mountains.
These were the beauties of the world in that man's eyes.
Li Xisheng returned to his own courtyard. Inside was a small pool built from multicolored cobblestones.
Li Xisheng crouched by the pool and looked down at the clear water, where the golden mountain-climbing crucian swam, wagging its tail, carefree and forgetful of worries.
It was hard to imagine that this decent-looking pool was all Li Baoping's doing. Whenever the little girl sneaked out, she would mostly go to Dragon Beard Creek to pick up stones. Day after day, she would bring a few home. Then one day, Li Baoping had a sudden idea. Seeing the stones piled up in a corner, she decided to build a pool for her big brother where fish and crabs could be kept. Li Xisheng couldn't dissuade her, so he could only help with the planning. But from start to finish, the work was all done by Li Baoping alone. When Li Xisheng tried to help, she absolutely refused.
Li Xisheng spotted a little critter poking its head out from under a bluestone slab. He said with a smile, "You two get along well. No fighting."
Li Xisheng stood up and went to the small study hung with a plaque reading "Build a Cottage." He spread out paper, ground ink, and picked up a brush to paint.
It was a painting of green pines weighed down by snow, full of ancient charm.
After putting down the brush, Li Xisheng shook his wrist and looked down to examine the painting. The ink was still wet, and the scent of ink filled his nostrils.
Finally, he gently blew a breath onto the painting.
The green pines in the painting seemed to encounter a fierce gale—they actually rustled, and the snow on the branches instantly dissipated.
————
Ruan Xiu returned cheerfully to the blacksmith shop. She didn't find her father forging in the sword forge. After looking around, she found him sitting on a bamboo chair under the eaves, drinking alone in melancholy.
Ruan Xiu asked curiously, "Dad, aren't you forging?"
The middle-aged man shook his head.
Forge my ass. Today is not suitable for casting swords. But if it were beating up Chen Ping'an, the man would be more than willing.
Ruan Xiu sat down beside him. "Dad, I forgot to bring you a jug of wine today. Tomorrow when I go to town, I'll definitely buy you a good one."
Adding salt to the wound.
The girl naturally didn't know that as soon as she said this, it was like sprinkling salt on her father's wound.
Ruan Qiong sighed, took a big gulp of wine, and stared blankly at the distant Dragon Beard River. He asked in a low voice, "Xiuxiu, do you like Chen Ping'an?"
Ruan Xiu smiled. "I like him."
Hearing his daughter answer so straightforwardly, Ruan Qiong actually felt relieved. It seemed there was still a chance to stop before it was too late. The Military Sage asked, "Do you know why I refused to take Chen Ping'an as a disciple?"
Ruan Xiu was taken aback and said in puzzlement, "Dad, didn't you already say so before? You said you didn't have a bad impression of Chen Ping'an, but unfortunately he's not of the same path, so you two aren't suitable as master and disciple. I know that. Also, Chen Ping'an... is different. So you're worried that if I get too close to him, it will attract the attention of many behind-the-scenes forces. So when you see me being friends with Chen Ping'an, you're not very happy. I can understand that."
Feeling that his daughter had already said all the reasoning, Ruan Qiong was instantly left speechless. He forcibly swallowed the words that were on the tip of his tongue and took a fierce gulp of wine.
The man drowned his sorrows in drink, but sorrow only grew. He thought: Since you know all the reasoning, then in the future, stay away from that Chen Ping'an! Silly girl, you don't lack those damned opportunities. Besides, Chen Ping'an has now lost the ability to lure "moths to the flame." And on top of that, you yourself are the greatest opportunity! So what happened? As soon as you heard he returned to his hometown, you ran all the way from Qilong Alley to the Stone Arch Bridge, then pretended to take a leisurely stroll, walking slowly toward your own shop. Who are you trying to fool?
Ruan Qiong put down his wine jug and said calmly, "With Qi Jingchun's departure, it's like the endgame has been played. But now in this Longquan Commandery, although there are no major dangers, such a big piece of fat as the Lizhu Cave Heaven has fallen from the sky. To say that jackals and wolves are lurking all around is not an exaggeration. Many things are not as simple as you think. I still say the same: troubles that Chen Ping'an stirs up on his own are easy to solve. Once you get involved, they become very hard to solve."
Ruan Xiu stretched out her legs, leaned back against the bamboo chair, and said with a lazy look, "I know. In any case, I'll cultivate well. Then I'll see who dares to act up. I won't even need your help, Dad. I can handle it myself."
Another big handful of salt, falling like snow on the man's wound.
It nearly made Ruan Qiong spit out an old mouthful of blood.
The Military Sage stood up huffily. As he passed behind his daughter, he gave her a rap on the head. "Always sticking up for outsiders!"
The girl turned her head, looked at her father's back, and curled her lips into a smile.
With neither forging nor minding the shop to do, the girl was somewhat idle. She gently shook her wrist.
The bracelet "came to life." The little fire dragon, having awakened from its nap, began to slowly circle the girl's fair arm.
————
Ruan Qiong walked toward a newly built sword forge. Besides the numerous young laborers, he had this year taken on three new disciples. For now, they were only nominal disciples, not formal indoor disciples. One of them, a long-browed youth who had been contemplating the sword intent by a well, suddenly opened his eyes and trotted over to Ruan Qiong. He asked softly, "Master, are we forging?"
Ruan Qiong shook his head, changed his mind, and headed instead toward the Dragon Beard River. He wanted to personally assess the weight of the gloomy river water. If it was sufficient, he could open the furnace as agreed to forge that sword.
The youth with extremely long eyebrows followed closely behind.
Though there was a hierarchy between master and disciple, the two walked the same path.
————
Chen Ping'an returned to the shop in Qilong Alley. He handed the clay pot to the green-clad child, then gave the keys and books to the pink-skirted girl. He told them to go back to the ancestral home in Niping Alley first.
He then walked alone to the Yang Family Apothecary. Regardless of wind, rain, or sun, year after year, the Spring Festival couplets hanging on both sides of the shop were changed annually, but the content had never been altered. They always read: "Wishing all the world to be free of illness, even if the medicines on the shelves turn to dust."
Chen Ping'an asked a new young shop assistant and learned that Old Man Yang was in the back courtyard. Passing through the side door, he saw the old man sitting on a small stool in the yard, hunched over with his legs crossed, blowing smoke rings.
Chen Ping'an didn't speak. He was uncharacteristically fidgety.
Old Man Yang got straight to the point. "You want to ask about your parents? Whether it's possible that, like Gu Can's father, their souls could remain in the town after death?"
Chen Ping'an's breathing instantly grew heavy.
"No."
The old man expelled a large cloud of smoke and directly gave the answer and the reason: "Because it's not worth it."
The boy lowered his head and said nothing more.
On the ground, there were only those badly worn straw sandals, hard to see clearly.